God was unable to solve a simple problem in his world, which had now grown in to a big issue. Just then, a Kid gave him an innocent view, which God strongly felt as the need of the time.
God was frustrated with the way Humans had messed up with the world that he had created with such craft and devotion. God thought that the cruel face of deaths and despair of innocent creatures will somehow touch the humane in humans, but even when it did, humans couldn’t do anything to stop the mess.
Oceans were polluted, rivers dried up, species got extinct, but people were fighting over issues made by themselves. Humans turned into savage beings, didn’t care for anything, anyone but themselves, their things and their desires. Human wants had turned into inhuman impulses.
He sat at a deserted riverside, sad, thinking over the whole architecture of his creations – wondering what went wrong. The place was devoid of humans, and anyway no human soul could see God now, as those souls were not pure anymore.
A kid came running towards the riverbed chasing a squirrel. The squirrel quickly climbed up the tree beside the riverbed. Kid got angry at the squirrel and threw a stone at it, missed it. Then he sat at the riverside, sad and crying.
God’s heart was still God’s, and He couldn’t see a kid crying like that. So he changed his appearance to a man and went beside the kid. He asked the kid about his problem, to which the kid replied, taking out a nut from his pocket- “I am t-… I am trying to give this n- n- nut to that s- squirrel… but she j- just doesn’t stop! Why doesn’t it t- t- trust me? Am I that bad?!”
God smiled at the innocence of the boy.
“Look kid. The squirrel might have had a bad experience with some other person before. That’s why she is afraid to trust you. She might be thinking that you will hurt it and so she’s running away from you. That doesn’t make you bad. Rather, your intention to give the squirrel food is what makes you a good boy!” God said patting the boy’s back.
Boy took a while to stop crying. And then said “But I don’t want to hurt it. My mom says that if I hurt someone, God will hurt me back. And will help that squirrel. Doesn’t squirrel know that?”
God said “It is true that God helps good souls. But still that doesn’t mean that good souls won’t get hurt. Sometimes, God takes time to help someone.”
Boy’s face turned inquisitive and said “But in that time, the bad guy would have done bad things. What’s the point of helping after bad things have happened?”
“Sometimes, bad things ought to happen to allow good things to happen.” God said smartly.
Boy couldn’t understand that, so he just shrugged his shoulders and said “I don’t get that. Instead, why just not allow bad things to happen.”
God said “Not everything is in God’s hands. We as people need to change for making things right.”
Boy said “I would just advice God to restart the world and make things right this time. Put only good things in people’s mind, and devoid their abilities to do bad. When I am not able to do something, I also just restart with my work, with a fresh look at it.”
Saying that the boy went on with his little world… But God sat there thinking about restarting the world. Is that the solution to his problem? Rebuilding the world, while destroying the current world? Is that acceptable? Or just the need of the time?
An essay on my friend, loneliness, who cares for me enough that it agrees to lets me go, and whom I love enough to not accept to let go.
Our favorite topic for essay writing as a child used to be ‘My Best Friend’. No other topic used to appeal us that much as this particular topic, as we could just write what we felt instead of searching for words. We used to write all the things we could remember about that one person, nonetheless that might be a very few things to remember at that time.
As a child, I did not have that privilege of having a best friend. Whenever such a topic was tossed at me, I used to choose other options instead. And the word barely made any sense to me. Even now, I do not understand the superlative degree assigned to it. ‘Best’ means better than ‘better’, and even better than ‘good’. Superlative degree implies that it tends to stay highest in the category. But then superlative also means ‘exaggeration’, which made me wonder – is ‘Best friend’ an overinflated relation in our life?
Anyway, leaving the language disarray aside, in my childhood, I used to write this essay on my friend, Loneliness.
Loneliness has been the only constant thing in my life since childhood. It has been there with me in good times and in bad times. It tried to sneak away from the back door once or twice, allowing someone to swoop in into my life. But somehow in the end, things always led us to be together. And to be honest, I liked being with it.
Unlike my endeavors with other ‘Best friends’, our relationship has stayed intact after having sailed through the tough times that any relationship passes through. It allowed me to reorganize my life after the mayhem the storm left. It stayed, holding hands with me, when I needed it the most.
Apart from the mutual feeling of belongingness for each other, we shared a lot of common things – me and loneliness. It had two faces – one where it spread gloom and dismay wherever it went, and the other where it spread the light of hope and jump-started the brain to work towards betterment. I had similar bipolar symptoms. I used to be utmost boring at times, converting even the most happening event an excuse of melancholy And at times, the spark in me could light up a dull and regretful talk into a happening, fun ride.
We were great together. And I had always found peace while being with it. But recently, I thing something has jinxed our relationship. The sparking part of our relationship has dried out and we spend most of our time in quiet. Something’s not right about it, something’s missing – it keeps on saying to me. It keeps on looking outside the window, waiting for something to happen. And I wonder what wrong did I do to it, what mistake did I make, how did I hurt it, that even the loneliness is seeking to leave me!
I asked it what could I do to make it feel better, to bring back the spark between us, just like the good-old-times. But it doesn’t answer my question. It never did. It has always been like that, keeping to itself, peaceful. But somehow, things had always worked out between us. We both used to communicate despite our persistent silence. But now, I speak and I wish it spoke back to me. I wish it would tell me the reason before the final moment of dismay.
As this is how it has always been. This is how my life always turns up after a long story, not a happy ending. And I have always marked it as a beginning of another chapter instead of an end of the story. But without my best friend, without loneliness, and without anyone else being there for my support, I wonder how things will turn out…
A series of stories of a bird who leaves his parents’ nest and moves on to live his life in his own way.
After leaving the house of his parents, the bird had set foot in the world of opportunities, which could both help him fly high or dump him right on the ground. While juggling his world with arranging his new nest and the new life, the bird feels the need of a companion, for the first time.
Previous posts under this series:
He had just returned from his morning flight. He loved flying over the town in the morning, just when the first ray of light touched the highest trees on the ground. All other birds would wake up after the sun was up enough to splash its sunlight on the ground. By that time, he used to make his trip.
He felt something he couldn’t explain in words, when the morning cold breeze and the new-born sunlight used to touch his feathers. He would just close his eyes, spread his wings fully apart and just go with the wind. And when he reached the end of his town, he would open his eyes and see the naked beauty of the sun, no buildings or man-made aesthetics to blur its beauty.
He cleaned his nest with a flap of his huge wings and settled back the twigs for the next night. Soon it will be time for going for the morning ritual – food, work, food, work and food, before it would be time for taking rest again. He watched other birds in the nearby nests. They had started to wake up.
He loved watching them wake up. It was half the reason for his early rise from his sleep. The birds around his nest used to wake each other up. Those staying alone used to show off their place and strength, in order to attract females and keep other males at bay. While some notorious ones used to invade other’s privacy by flying into other’s marked spaces. And it was just seconds that a fight would start between the owner and the encroacher.
But he didn’t like watching all that. He enjoyed watching the couples wake-up. It was an amazing sight, funny sometimes, and adorable too. One of them would wake-up and slowly caress, gently stroke the other’s head with its beak. The other would slowly open its eyes and the first thing it will see in the morning would be the his love in the eyes of its loved one. And then they would entwine themselves in the rickety ride of beak-lock, entangling their beaks and pushing each other up and down.
Gross! It used to be his first reaction to such acts of other birds. Rumbling inside other’s beak without the morning gargle! But then he felt something else too watching them. His heart used to slow down watching the scene. And a strange crunch would start out of nowhere in his stomach. Probably, he missed all this in his life.
During the day, he would think about how his life would be like if he also had a companion in his life. His early months after he left the house of his parents were hard. And he felt this dire need of being with someone. But he always pushed away those feelings thinking that he had to make his life first, and this was only temporary reaction of his mind upon leaving his parents. But then, those thoughts never stopped after more than a year from that time now.
He had met several people on his way to this town, before he finally settled at his current space in the corner of the balcony of an abandoned man-house. But none of them made him feel weak at heart. None of them were compatible to him. And he moved on easily from all the occasional beak-locks and making out times with some, he didn’t care enough to remember. But he was waiting for someone whom he would never let go. And that made him feel incomplete everyday.
In the evening, when he would return from his long flight of searching for food, having fought several fights with some annoying birds on the way, and finding his purpose of life, living his dreams, he would see the sunset, alone. He would sit on the chimney of the house, and watch the sun burn the last rays of light. He would extend his wings to touch the light as it would slowly rise towards the sky, leaving the ground to embrace the darkness and wait for another day, another morning when they will meet again. Although the sunset is always beautiful, he would feel low at heart having to watch it without someone by his side.
At night, he would arrange his extra twigs to form a structure of another bird, a portion around his side, and would close his eyes, letting his feathers feel the touch of another warm being, imaginary companion by his side. It was the only time during the day, other than the morning escapes, when he would actually smile without a reason…
After-all, the truth was harsh and he knew it. Life wasn’t all generous all the time. He understood he had to accept how things were in his case. Due to his nature, no one was ever gonna be with him forever. He wouldn’t let that happen…
An epilogue on my encounter with a butterfly, symbolizing a lost opportunity, or a deemed opportunity, may be a false perception… Taking a permanent place in my dreams.
The water molecules were colliding with each other. The electricity in the clouds charged up the molecules and after continuous colliding, a drop of water was formed from all the vapour collected in the clouds. That drop was carried in the clouds in the form of semi-liquid vapour and when the clouds could no longer hold on to the water drop, and the wind couldn’t carry the clouds further, the drop bade goodbye to the clouds and left out on a long journey to meet its mother earth…
On the earth, there was a creature resting on a flower-bed. It woke up and flapped its wings up and down to welcome the beautiful morning. The creature was a beautiful butterfly…
Just when the butterfly got up from its flower-bed, the drop that was falling from the sky fell on its wings with a splash and few tiny drops from the whole drop flew on to the butterfly and watered its face. The butterfly turned its face away from it in surprise and then smiled at the nature’s Good Morning Wish…
The butterfly got up and took a high flight in the sky. It felt the sky, the wind, the sun and the environment. It was so fresh and overwhelmingly beautiful. As the butterfly cherished the nature’s gifts in its way, other creatures on earth enjoyed watching the butterfly! One among those creature was a me…
I was watching the butterfly so keenly that I forgot all my time and commitments. It flew just by me not even noticing me, may be noticing but not making any difference… It was all lost in its own world! It was enjoying the nature and the environment; frequently stopping by other places that it might have been attracted to. I was jealous…
I tried to move closure to it. I wanted to see it closely. I wanted to hold it in my hands, not to trap but to show it my affection. I tried several times, but my efforts were wasted. As it didn’t trust me and found me just like other humans who wanted nothing but to trap it and put it in a box. It couldn’t see my feelings so it just started flying away from me.
I sensed that it was no use trying too much towards the butterfly, because I knew that it was way far my reach. But still, my heart thumped for its beauty, I could never stop admiring it. In a way, it won’t see me gazing at it…
After some time, as I had gone into a complete motion-less posture, it came close to me… May be it didn’t see me or may be it wanted to play with me more and taunt me that it was not within my reach… Or may be it felt my emotions and was considering befriending me… ‘May be’s were many. But I ignored all my instincts and gave it its space. Not to mention that my eyes always found ways to take little glimpses of that beautiful creation of nature and give an image to my retina with an instruction to make a permanent portrait of it in my mind…
The beauty of its wings and the amazing contouring design swept me from my feet. I had seen nothing like this in my whole life. The shape it had and the patterns on its wings, its big black eyes and those two hairy antennas – were all so amazingly stunning! I again started to try running behind it. But soon as I tried, it swiftly and elegantly went far from me.
I sat down in disappointment. I consoled myself that it was just a butterfly. And I would see many such butterflies in my life…
At night, I closed my eyes, thinking may be get some sleep tonight. As soon as I closed my eyes, I saw vivid colors forming different patterns and different designs, all a stunning blend of colors and shapes turning into its face, its body, its way of flying, and everything about it.
The color patterns that were forming due to a sudden change in light in the room, were a delight for my eyes. I enjoyed making them, watching them. It continued for a while then slowly the saturation started dropping. The colors were now blurred and less bright from how they had started to be. Then slowly the darkness overpowered them…
As the darkness grew over the colors, the patterns formed a ‘B’ like shape and just them the ‘B’ shape cloned itself into a reverse ‘B’ shape. Both the ‘B’ shapes merged and formed a big oval-like shape, filled with beautiful color patterns. A thin line, cutting the oval in equal half, started to grow bigger and the two sides of the ovals started moving in a carousel way…
All of the Phosphenes and Entoptic Hallucinations that I was seeing were nothing but the beautiful structure of the butterfly! I dared not to open my eyes and face the darkness surrounding me…
I hope that some day, the butterfly will come stay with me. I wish to see that butterfly, forever, by my side! (I went to sleep with that wish, as that’s the only place my wishes come true…)
A series of stories of a bird who leaves his parents’ nest and moves on to live his life in his own way.
While finding a dwelling place, he missed his home and remembered how it was on the day he left that place, forever.
The wind was gushing past his dark brown feathers while he had his strong, young wings fully spread in the sky. He was flying since several suns now. And he hadn’t been able to find a place to crash so far. He flew from forests to abandoned buildings to rural campsites to urban localities. But all the places were either occupied or weren’t free from human breech. At all the places, he was either shooed off by other birds or by mankind.
He was in constant upheaval since the time he moved out of his parents nest. He clearly remembered that day when his mother had told him that now he had grown into an adult bird and had to go on his own path, while Dad had looked at him from his usual watch-spot, doing his duty of precautionary lookout.
Dad had taught him all the survival and combat measures. And mother had taught him to fly, to stay full and everything else. He had looked into their faces for the one last time, a long moment before leaving that old house-top, forever.
He had flown up into the sky with his newly trained, strong, young wings. He had pictured mother and father watching him fly away from the ground below, but had not turned his head to look back. It was difficult to move on. It would be impossible to go if he looked back. A tear had escaped his eyes and had flown in the gushing wind past his feathers in the sky, then had started to descend down towards the ground.
On the old house-top, mother had been strong so far. She was watching his son fly high in the sky, not looking back, his strong boy. But then she felt it. She felt a pain in her heart, she knew her son was sad somehow. She flew in a blink, the father was too slow to stop her. He was in his own dilemma. Dad watched his son fly, tearing the wind. He wanted to say something to him before he left. He wanted to bite him over his head and cuddle him before he left for his long journey. He wanted to fly a few miles with him, making sure he remembers his lessons. But he couldn’t. He was Dad after-all. He has to maintain his strong composure. May be next time he sees him, he will say things, he will let himself break emotionally.
The mother flew, but not towards her son. She flew on the ground in the same direction as he did. He shouldn’t know how she felt. That would only make it more difficult for him. But she wanted to see the most of him before his son was gone out of her reach. She flew right below him, giving quick glances towards him in the sky, while dodging all the obstacles on the ground. She took a sudden bent in her path to duck a street light and did a barrel roll. While she was half-way through the barrel roll, with her wings open towards the sky, a drop of water had fallen on her chest. And she had stopped right there after completing the barrel roll. Her heart could make out what the drop of water was – the same make as the one that rushed out of her eyes at the moment.
They would be proud, but scared as well till the time he proves himself worthy by living out in the open world without their protection, he thought. And so he moved swiftly, but without watching the path. His mind wasn’t in the flying, his wings were doing it for him. He will move from one place to another, till the time he found a safe shelter. May be some day, he will have a place where he could invite them to stay with him, if he sees them again.
A taradiddle about a Pigeon’s desparate attempts to save its egg and give birth to its baby.
In the last days of winters, the man woke up to hear a rumbling sound in the balcony. It was the pigeon flapping its wings for some reason. It flew away into darkness as soon as the man opened the door to the balcony. Tumbling, toppling, it managed to find its way to the nearby balcony, but never let go its gaze off the man’s balcony.
Then he ignored it and went away to sleep. As soon as the man went back to sleep, the pigeon came back to the balcony and made sounds. This time the man let it be like that, probably he felt that the pigeon too should get a good night sleep.
After a few days, the man returned to his balcony. The pigeon sitting there flew away instantly, and sat on the opposite balcony. The man loved to see the sunset, and so he saw… The sun was about to sink into the ground, but the clouds of impurity released from the chimney of a thermal station had already started corroding sunlight. The sun slowly gave up its fight against that smoke and sank into the path from which smoke came out. The chimney finally ate out the sun…
The man watched the sunset thinking thousands of things in his life, when he came to know that the pigeon was still watching him constantly without moving anywhere. He found it weird that the pigeon had so much interest. After watching around the balcony, he came to know that the pigeon had laid an egg in one corner of the balcony, and was worriedly watching over for that egg.
The man closed the door of the balcony, giving the pigeon privacy to care for its egg.
For few days, the man never opened the balcony door, thinking that it would scare away the pigeon and would have to leave its egg vulnerable.
But one day, the constant crowing of a crow woke up the man. He went outside to see what was wrong with that crow. The crow was sitting on the opposite balcony, with his eyes on the man’s balcony. And the pigeon couple was constantly flying in his balcony and going away. The man understood that the crow meant to harm the egg and the pigeon couple was trying to save their kid.
The man helped the pigeon to shoo away that crow after a few tries of throwing different twigs and stones at the crow. But the man feared that the crow would return again. So, he brought an old pot from his house and kept it in the balcony. He wanted to put the egg inside it, but worried that the pigeons might think otherwise.
So, again for few days, he didn’t open the door of the balcony for the pigeons to figure out the arrangement themselves.
The pigeons, naturally, feared the man that he might capture them or harm their egg. But they also knew that the man had once ignored the egg and so probably, the crow was their bigger enemy. Turn by turn, they started guarding for the egg, thereby, one pigeon would always stay for the protection of the egg. But, as the crow was more powerful that the pigeons, they had to find some other alternative.
They saw the pot everyday, but never went inside it, thinking that it might just be another trap built by the humans.
But after a few days, mother pigeon took courageous step by jumping into the pot. She managed to jump in after several failed attempts, and as soon as she jumped, the whole pot wobbled due to the round bottom of the pot. The pigeon grabbed on to the floor till the pot was stable. Then it tried coming out of the pot. With several attempts again, it managed to make that perfect jump to directly come out of the pot.
This way, it knew that the pot was a perfect place to build a nest, where its egg and even the future baby pigeon will be safe from that crow, as the crow will not be able to fit through the pot mouth.
The movement of the pot and the sound of wobbling woke up the man at night. He knew that the pigeons have finally understood his intention and was happy for that. Next morning, he opened the balcony door to see what the pigeons did for all those days. The pot had moved its place from one edge to the other in the balcony, probably due to constant moving and wobbling with its round bottom surface. When the man saw inside the pot, it was filled one-forth with twigs and sticks, the worst designed bird nest he had seen so far.
He put the egg on the top the nest and went away.
After a few days, the man saw inside the pot and found that the pigeon was comfortably sitting on the egg inside the pot.
Suddenly, the pigeon inside the pot came to know about the man watching and it made a jump to come out of the pot, hastily. Its hurried attempts were more prone to failure than its earlier attempts. So, it failed to come out of the pot and stayed in there, scared, afraid of the man. The man smiled at his attempts and quietly went back inside the house, closing the door softly.
Soon, the pigeon got out of the pot and flew away, the man heard from the other side of the door.
This continued for a few days. Soon, the pigeon understood that the man meant no harm and so it didn’t attempt running away as soon as the man opened the balcony door. However, it constantly would see through the pot mouth towards the man and his movements. Fear of humans for animals is not so easily curable, after all the things that we do to them.
The egg soon started to show signs of nearby hatch-time. And the pigeon too, started being more and more concerned for the egg when the man came out into the balcony. It would now cover the egg completely and look at the man until the door is closed fully, even during nights.
After a few days, the man heard quiver movements of the pot and heard a shriek like sound of an animal. He came out of in the balcony to see the pot and saw that there was a tiny little head of a baby pigeon coming out of the egg. The mother or father pigeons were not around. The man watched the baby push its legs out of the egg and falling on the nest ground. It didn’t look anything like a pigeon. It was dark, brown-black in color and was so tiny that it didn’t even look like a bird. It made a cry like sound that the man had never heard a pigeon make. Was that egg of some other bird, the man thought.
But the sight of baby pigeon being born and come out of its egg was the best thing he had ever seen.
The mother pigeon and father pigeon came flying to the balcony. Mother pigeon went directly inside the pot, even with the man standing out in the balcony. And the father pigeon waited outside, standing on the railings, watching the man’s movements.
The man felt that he should probably leave the family alone and hence, he closed the door and went back to sleep.
After a few days, again the baby pigeon was alone in the pot. It crying sounds that made the man very uncomfortable. What was with that kid, he thought. He went outside and saw that baby pigeon. It made no movements as he saw the man looking at it. The man observed it for sometime and then went back. The pigeon started crying again. The man came back with some broken pieces of food, crushed it and put it into the pot. But the bird took no notice of that. It kept looking at the man, fear in its eyes.
The man left the kid alone and after a few days, when he again saw inside the pot. The mother pigeon was sitting with the baby pigeon, and those bits and pieces of food that he had put inside were as they were. Not even one piece was eaten by them. Don’t trust anything human, pigeon eyes said.
One fine morning, the man came out to see the pot again. The baby pigeon was sitting inside quietly and the mother and father pigeon were not there. Probably to bring him some food, he thought. He went back inside. After a few hours, he heard rumbling of the pot, as if the pigeon was moving in and out of it hurriedly.
He went out to see that the baby pigeon was out of the pot. He got scared and tried persuading the baby bird to go back inside the pot. It wasn’t safe for him to go out on its own, he couldn’t even fly properly.
The man tried going towards picking him up, but that made the bird fear and jump away from him. The bird jumped to. E edge of the balcony and this scared the man. If the baby fell off the balcony he wouldn’t even be able to fly.
Seeing that, the man quickly went inside the house and peeked through the small space. The baby pigeon climbed on the top of the pot, but wasn’t quite sure as to how to jump into the pot. He had not tried it once and there was no one to teach him. The man wished that the parent pigeons come back soon as the kid would only listen to them.
The baby pigeon was not able to jump inside, probably afraid of getting hurt. It went and sat in a corner of the balcony and started making small squeaking sounds.
The man closed the door and waited for the parent pigeons to come. His heart still wanted to help the kid, but his brain knew that the baby bird will get afraid of him and won’t accept his help. He felt sad that the image of humans was so scary for these animals.
After some time, the baby pigeon stopped squeaking, and there was a rumbling sound of the pot. Finally the parents pigeon were back and they would help the baby bird back into the pot, thought the man. After a while. when all sounds stopped, he went out to look inside the pot.
There was nothing in the pot, just the empty nest. The baby bird was not in the balcony. Only two-three small feathers of baby bird were lying in one corner. The man saw around in the precincts for some sign, but there was no one there. No baby pigeon and no parent pigeons. Could the baby bird have flown away? But how could he have! He was so little!
A crow came flying on the opposite balcony. He landed on his legs over the railing and the man saw some feathers fly out of his legs, which were not his own black feathers. They were brownish blue feathers.
The man understood what had happened.
Mother pigeon came flying and sat on the railing of the man’s balcony. It made some sounds, then looking at the man, it jumped on the top of the pot and saw inside. Waited for some time, then saw at the man again. And then flew away.
The crow looked back at the man and flew away, probably with bird smirk on its face. The pigeons never came back.
A tear came gushing out of the man’s eyes… If only, the bird wasn’t so afraid of the man, he could’ve helped it, he thought.