You got it all, then why ain’t you happy?

Ask me not, what it means.
As I won’t be able to say-

Anything else, but this…
… …
Yes, I got it all… But I ain’t happy.

You ask me why? I tell ya this.
I have learned and have become a learned.

I have got a degree, and I flaunt it.

But I make no good of all my learning.

I do no good to anyone unlearned.

I got no idea to bring a big change.

I follow, I follow, and that’s all it is,

For me in my life, I need not to be this.
I’ve got a job. And I earn well.

My life is way better than the majority albeit.

Then why, when people respect me, I don’t.

Why, I care not, when I care the most.

I love the job that I do. And I’m good at it too.

Then why the boredom creeps in, sneaking.
Yes, I’ve got it all. And I’m not happy.

May be, I’m not sad. But, that ain’t it, is it?

I tell stories, that ya can’t relate to,

And I wait, for ya to say thank you,

Wish I could inspire, love, touch your heart,

Wish I could believe that can be loved.
It is not so easy for me to be me,

When the me I am, finds the me not me…

Yes, I’ve got it all, and I’m thinking-

May be, I’m wrong, but I am, isn’t it?

I want not to be anyone else, but wait-

Do I want, at all, to be me instead?
When I sing, when I hum, when I whistle-

I live. For fraction of time, I see me bright,

Before the music brings out the pain,

The pain that is not real, nonexistent.

Yes, I’ve got it all, and I’m waiting,

For someone to tell me that I have,

For I believe that I can find love-

In my life. But wait- do I really?
Yes, I don’t understand it myself,

I’ve got it all, then why does it feel so not?

Like the birds, I want to fly,

Like the wind, I want to touch the sky,

While the world waits for it to end,

I wait for that time, when I begin.

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A Little Lullaby

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Sleep my kitty, sleep well…
Let the night cast upon you it’s nightly spell…
Let the dreams come by and say hello,
Greet them well, my little fellow,
Let the rainbows fall from the sky,
Dance with the birds, fly with butterflies,
Sleep my kitty, sleep well…

The stars would glitter their lights upon you,
The moon may come and go,
I’d be there sitting by your side,
Caressing your head, holding your hand,
Don’t you worry, my little sunshine,
I’ve told angels to guard you, whole night,
Sleep my kitty, sleep well…

How calm your face looks right now,
How peacefully you sleep, with my arms around,
I see the little contour in your cheek,
I wish to play on it all night,
Dream my dear, dream high,
Someday, I know, you can touch the sky,
Sleep my kitty, sleep well…

I’ll sing you this lullaby each night,
I’ll watch you smile in the moonlight,
I’ll kiss you good night, my little jingle bell,
Sleep my kitty, sleep well…

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Watching through a child’s toy camera

I was walking on the road,
With my mind not in my control,
Seeing things around me but,
Cared none, nevertheless,
Like a child’s a toy camera,
I saw glimpses of unrelated Era,
Like a child I ran the reel,
Like a child, did I feel,
I wanted to live them again,
I wished I had a time machine,
But then a pup came by,
Wagging his tail, and a spark in his eye,
A smile spread through the desert on my face,
As I ran my hand through his furry little face,
He jumped on his feet, wanted me to play,
I picked a stick and ‘fetch’ I say,
We played for an hour or two,
Then he bid farewell and went on,
I saw him going without looking back,
Didn’t he feel to live the moment back?
He taught me a lesson to keep the memories alive,
But not to waste the present, wanting to go back,
As the present gives birth to all the memories,
If there is no present, you’d have no memories……

It’s Raining Fire

The clouds are ready in the dark sky,
Thundering their anger, flash in a blink of the eye,
It’s gonna get bad tonight, believe me,
It’s gonna get bad tonight, come with me,
There comes the first drop of rain,
Save yourself, cover to stop the pain,
Like a fake smile on your face,
Spread an umbrella on your head,
It’s raining fire tonight…

With each drop of fire, it burns inside me,
Even after letting you go, it burns inside me,
In my head, it’s screaming out loud,
This rain is going to take me down,
But I won’t runaway, I won’t hide,
I’ll light up my darkness with fire, bright,
So like a fake smile on your face,
Spread an umbrella on your head,
It’s raining fire tonight…

The fire has flooded the driveway,
Flowing like a stream of burning lava in my heart,
This time the thunders won’t make a sound,
This time the lightning won’t be seen,
A silent storm would rush through the wild,
Like a fake smile on your face,
Spread an umbrella on your head,
It’s raining fire tonight…

The morning next, has come up with sun,
The sky is filled with ashes, with dust,
It reminds me of you, of our time way back,
How we fought with all our love and all our might,
The rainbow after the rain can be seen up there,
But is colored this time only with the shades of red,
Like a fake smile on your face,
Hope you’d an umbrella on your head,
It had rained fire last night…

Please Daddy Please Mummy

(In words of a kid whose parents fight a lot…)

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Please Daddy, Please Mummy,
Please don’t fight…

From childhood I’ve been observing,
Since then I’ve been thinking,
Is it me or is it you,
That you both are still together!
As the way you fight on petty issues,
The way you disagree most of the time,
It doesn’t seem like there’s any understanding between you.
I cannot seem to recover from this regret,
Of not being able to make things right,
Please daddy, please mummy,
Please don’t fight…

I understand that petty fights are normal,
That it happens in all the relationships,
But then, other things also happen,
But not so in your case, mum-dad,
I don’t remember you two valuing each other,
For the other’s love and care,
But only bashing about each other’s flaws and faults…
I cannot sleep with such scenes in my head,
I try to close my eyes and make my dreams instead,
Please daddy, please mummy,
Please don’t fight…

I have concluded that marriage in life-
Is bound to fail, bound to break,
Why spoil the pair with several tugs, frequent attack,
My best friend and others try to make me understand,
But my mind is now stuck and I can’t take any other stand…
With each and every time you both argue,
I lose my trust in friendship and relationships,
I stopped believing in being together forever,
As for me, togetherness is not physical, but from within,
If you wanna change my beliefs, if you wanna make me right,
Please daddy, please mummy,
Please don’t fight…

I know mummy, Dad’s a jerk sometimes,
He gets angry at you for his own failures,
For he is now spoiled in bad troupe,
He smokes, and lies, and wastes money,
And blames you for everything wrong,
Without accepting his own flaws and faults,
But don’t you still love him like that?
Doesn’t he work hard everyday to fulfill your wishes?
Doesn’t he stand for you when needed?
You know he’s old and forgets a lot,
You know he is like that, and cannot be changed,
Then why do you care, why do you cry,
Just ignore him and move on, or else,
Be strong to tell him that he’s wrong…

I know daddy, mommy’s little irritating,
She confuses over little decisions,
She develops prejudice based on people’s look,
She ain’t as systematic and orderly as you,
But don’t you still love her like that?
Doesn’t she cleans your shit and makes your house livable?
Hasn’t she left her whole family to make one with you?
Don’t you think she feels lonely all day without you?
You know, like you, she’s getting old too,
Can’t you help her with her work? Or not increase it, at least?
Accept her with her flaws, or else-
Have guts to accept you own faults too,
But don’t croak, don’t mumble behind her back…

We all have flaws, we all have limitations,
We cannot be perfect, we cannot be other’s dream,
But don’t you know? People can never be perfect,
But relationships can be… We can make them perfect!
Either live with each other happily, or else-
Accept to leave each other and move on happy,
But don’t make things more complicated,
By living together unhappily…!
At least, for my sake, may be,
Please daddy, please mummy,
Please don’t fight…

I am scared of being closer to someone,
I run away of being tied to a relation,
I wander here and there for belongingness,
But as soon as I get it, I devalue it,
As I am corroded with the idea-
That Love never lasts…
Can you help me mummy?
Can you help me daddy?
In making me believe in feelings again?
Can you help me by not fighting again?

Please daddy, please mummy,
Please don’t fight…

When I Closed My Eyes

When I closed my eyes,
I could see the world clearer…

I was void of all my prejudices,
I was void of all my favoritism,
I was void of my color-sidedness,
I was able to see the real picture-
behind the morphed one…

With my eyes closed, I could see,
But I couldn’t make difference-
In any cast or creed,
I made no bias, I gave no blame,
For all the people were actually the same…

I was not afraid anymore,
I was courageous,
I could make a point straight-
Without any shiver,
Power and status corrode me no more…

With my eyes closed, I could see,
More than that, I could feel,
I needed no lies, I needed no bluff,
I said the truth without trying to please,
For I was what I was, at peace, at zeal…

With my eyes closed, I moved to another world,
I stopped breathing, I slowly let the light go out,
I embraced my final sleep, I accepted the peace,
When I closed my eyes,
I could see the world clearer.

When you see your father

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The figure that appeared way after you were born,
The figure who was a bit hesitant while taking you in his arms,
He feared that he might hurt you, ‘cuz tenderness doesn’t come naturally to him,
His tight arms and his warmth, his love, his care, his pride, his life,
All showed up – the moment his eyes met you…

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He is your hero, he is your inspiration,
He is your star, he is your dream,
He is the one whom you try to copy,
He is the one whom you try to surpass,
For all the things in your life,
He is your first role model, he is your first competition…

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He guides you, he pushes you, he catches you,
He carves you out of nothing,
He teaches you, gives you worldly tips,
His lessons, that have always been helpful,
That you might not have known,
Till you paid for some trainer to teach you the same thing…

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He takes all the blow, before the wind can catch you,
He works late night, so that you can stay in peace,
His wishes comes after yours,
His comfort is only for you,
He is your protector, he is your umbrella…

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He takes pride in your success,
He takes the blame for your fiasco,
He cares for you, but fails to express,
He loves you more than that,
That you heart can understand…

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Father-son never talk a word,
But communicates everything in a hug…

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Father-daughter shares everything,
Till the time he finds her a white horse guy…

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In the winters you cuddle him at night,
To get his warmth and sleep tight,
In the summers he takes you on his shoulders,
To eat ice creams and ice-dishes,
When it rains, he dances along with you,
In every season, he stands right with you…

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He helps you sneak out without telling your mother,
Then he scolds you for doing that infront of her,
And then again laughs with you behind her back,
Without him, your mischief wouldn’t have been managed…

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He encouraged you to hop out of the box,
Although keeping your safety in mind,
He helped you fight the struggles,
With your efforts and his support,
He let it go as soon as he felt-
That you could move on your own…

He gets angry sometimes,
Sometimes, he turns bad,
But after all he’s your father,
Go talk to him, and solve the ruffle,
Don’t stretch the thread to that point,
Don’t take it to the brink of the cliffs…

If you don’t value him, it’s a shame for us all,
Cuz a father is a Father… If you know what I mean.
Don’t just wish him today, cuz it’s his day,
Make his every day, like Father’s Day
A word of praise, a stand-up, a gift,
Nothing would hold, but your love and care, and respect…

Happy Father’s Day…

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https://justhokumhere.wordpress.com/2015/05/10/when-we-see-our-mother/

Few lines more, for both of them…

They never asked for anything in return,
For their love, care and devotion,
They never demanded your love,
But still, isn’t it just, to love them, to respect?

Have you been good to them?

‘Would it be good if your child behaved in the same way you do?’
Ask this to yourself, and you’ll know…