Roomie-pedia

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I can’t deny the fact that the time we spent staying away from our family, with our roommates / hostel mates, was one of those memorable times of our life.

We had several instances, events, cases, results, tragedies, melodrama, travesty, ridic and jocose events… It may have been several years, but still we can remember minute by minute dialogues from those occasions.

And also we remember that miscellany of diversified people whom we called our roommates.

This post lists down the varied types of roommates that we come across in our lives.

Silent Roomie
Like Silent Partner in a Partnership, this one never shows up in public. He stays in the same room as us, but no one would know it, not even the landlord. Sometimes, even the roommates won’t recognize this guy. It would be almost a treasure hunt to find him. 😛

The Blabber-blast
Remember that Duracell bunny? This person never drains off his battery too. He keeps on talking and talking and talking about all the rubbish things possible in our world and alien world together. His blabbering is so annoying that you’d even enjoy your girl best friend or girl friend talk! Remember to keep this guy away when your parent’s are visiting. 😉

The Doomed Soul
He’s always sad, always irritated. When you ask him about his day, I can bet you won’t be motivated a bit. Give him any situation, and he can turn & twist it to look ill-fated for him and fortunate for others. Nothing can motivate that person, not even a shower (with or without someone).

The Priest
This fine type of roommate is in abundance in our ‘God-fearing’ world. His prayers are so loud that even that Saturday night DJ would feel dubious of his skills. He would never say a sentence without including God’s grace in it.

The Pirate
Beware the Pirates… Not everyone is fun and helpful like Captain Jack Sparrow! Some pirates just steal and loot and plagiarize. They use your things without your permission.

He cannot be trusted at all. From your mother’s cooked munchies, your clothes and accessories, to your secrets. Nothing is safe with this buccaneer. So, if your shampoo bottle got empty a little too quick, then you know who did that.

The Hungry Beast (Bhukkhad)
Nothing can satisfy our Mr. Bhukkhad. No matter how much he eats (his own and even from your plate), his hunger cannot be satisfied. He will be hungry all the time and your only company for late night hunger games. While he is the most jolly person of all us roommates, but if you’re cooking, God bless you. 😛

The Sleepy Fellow
The world may turn into ashes, but this fellow will not sacrifice his sleep. Not that he is not interesting. But, most of his time would be occupied in sleeping. He’ll keep several alarms in a span of half hour in the morning, intended to wake him up, but turns into a disastrous morning for you. And never ever, ever, forget the key to the house, while he’s sleeping inside. You’d probably have to sleep outside that day. 😉

The Poor Boyfriend
Some people call him lucky, while some feel pity for him… And both are correct! He is so poor that he even doesn’t own his own time! He has to borrow it from her girlfriend. 😀

This guy here is totally chained from head to toe. Making plans for a night out, forget him. Or else, all he will do is talk to her ‘sweetie pie’! Not that he likes that… But she likes that, and he likes her and wants her to like him back! 😉

Girlfriend Grabber
Keep all your passwords protected, as this dude here has all the charm, all the sly and knavish techniques to lure your beloved out of your life, and onto his “to-do” list. Keep her away from him, or that would be the last time she is with you…

The Dumb Dummy
Do you know who discovered a dumb man? A dumber man…! Otherwise, a wise man would not have let the epidemic spread! This one here will sometimes be the tickle bone of your room and while other times he would just make the situation a fiasco. He is not good wingman, believe me. And he is certainly not a person to ask tricky queries. But he’s the best Dummy you’ll ever find for all your evil and escape plans. 😉

The Creepy Ghost
They have been probably evolved from cats. He walks with that sky that you’d not know the he is standing right in your room listening to your dirty talks with your girlfriend. Keep an eye out for him. And if you’re weak hearted, don’t stay alone with him at the room.

The Dirty Pig
The most hated of all are these Dirty Pigs. They will spoil almost anything they touch. If there’s a choice, choose not to share a room with them as otherwise, you’ll be lost in their scrapheap. And if you can, rent a separate bathroom for yourself.

The Movie Junkie
This guy does nothing expect watch movies all day, all night. He has no other hobbies, no other problems either. He is great person, but only to watch movies with. He will keep you entertained with his never ending collection and if you are trying to remember that character from that movie that you saw several years back, he’s your man!

The Telephone Booth
Tring Tring… Ah! Don’t worry. If a phone rings, it is got to be for our Telephone Booth guy. He is always talking over the phone. To his mother, brother, sister, friend, neighbor, colleagues, girlfriend, the newspaper guy, the laundry guy… Using any phone that he can get a hold of. Phone locks are necessity for you, if you are to stay with this guy.

The News Reporter
From what’s cooking at our neighbor’s place, to who’s available and who’s dating whom in our society, our news reporter knows it all. Nothing happens without him getting a notice of it. And keep him entertained to keep your secrets a secret. 😛

The Musician
When nothing is working out, when you feel low and tired with your life, go to this guy. He will play the guitar so well that you’ll almost fall in love with his fingers. 😛

The Scared Kid
Ah! Watching a horror movie again? Keep him with you… And you’d be amazed how the horror movie turns to a humor one. The scared kid here will go shaky legs by the most lame horror scenes! In case you’re the daring types, don’t keep his company as he will spoil the air with his loose guts in tensed situations. 😛

The Master Chef
This one is the Angel for all other roommates. If a room has one such guy, they live happily ever after. If anything can at least reach to the level of your mother’s cooked food, this is that guy. A nice friend to have and a perfect roommate for making your room a paradise.

The Lucky Bastard
Mr. Lucky is that guy that you see in the movies. He has money, talent, good looks, great body, cool girlfriend and all the luck in the universe! But he’s a bastard too. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Some bastards are just lucky! If you’re the jealous type, better look away.

The Sarcastic Gagman
He has the perfect replies every time. And he will make you laugh in every situation. He can be so sarcastic at times that you’ll have to tickle your nerves to understand his shot. And wanna prank your roomie? He’s the man with all good ideas…

The Time Machine
No this has nothing to do with time travel. This guy here works like a machine at the time. He has all his day planned up, months booked up and years fixed up..

He does everything on time. He’s never wasting any of his minute and is always occupied with something. Going for some unplanned night out, he’s not free.

The Paid Slave
Poor Rich Guy here is a paid slave in some big company. He works his *** out and is always late from office. Give him any work and he will forget it due to office work pressure. Even his holidays are not his holidays. He spends his weekend mornings shouting slangs for his bosses while getting ready for office. And his evenings pleasing the same person to let him go home.

The Pseudo Parent
Where are you going? With whom? When will you come back? That late? Why? You are wasting your time? You should see where’s your life headed! – all these questions are usually asked by our parents and elders. But here, a roommate is trying (successfully) to become our pseudo parent!

Mr. Sham
All he ever speaks out of his mouth is a sham, a lie. Not necessarily a fraudster, but a person who is habituated at telling things while adding his own flavours and versions to it. Keep your head clear and never believe a word he says. Mr. Sham here is not a good company.

The Good Guy
This guy here does nothing bad. He talks to his parents about whatever he does – bunking a lecture for a movie, late night hangouts, everything. He will not do anything that violates his virtues and ethics. A nice guy, but sometimes not a good company in your risky gambles.

The Fashion Star
90% of his cupboard would be filled with clothes and accessories. He would have matching shades, belts and wrist watched for all his weekly looks. He takes heck lot of time to get ready and is always buying fashion online.

But he’s your man if you’re not sure what to wear on your first date, party night or that important meeting with your customers.

—–

Did I miss any other type? Do tell…

BuzZzzZz

I was listening to music while lying on my bed. It was night and I was exhauted by the day’s mechanical boredom. Music helped in soothing my mind and removing the boredom from my mind so that I could sleep well.

While listening to one of my favourite tracks, I heard a buzzing sound. My reflex checked the mobile for vibration, but there was nothing. I turned back to listening that song.

Buzzed again. I stood up and checked my surroundings for a product that was making that buzzing sound. (I thought I should have bought noise cancellation supporting headphones.)

But then I recognized the buzzes. That was a mosquito. I stood up straight in a moment, turned on the lights and then started searching for the bastard.

When I found it, I got ready with my hands to squeeze it with a clap. I even had a napkin ready with me. (I wondered which window did I left open that this tiny little blood sucker got a chance to enter my house!)

The mosquito took a few turns in the sky (in my bedroom) and then sat on a nice cozy place (my leg), ready to do its bite.

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When I raised my hand to spat him, he yelled – “Stooooooooooooop!”

My hand stopped in mid-air. Gosh! A talking mosquito now! These animation guys are really pushing their limits!

“Please don’t kill me! Pleeeaaasssseeee!” the mosquito quivered.

“Why shouldn’t I!? You were gonna bite me!” I replied angrily (although I felt weird ‘talking to a mosquito’!)

“That’s what I do!” the mosquito gave a quick reply.

“And that’s the reason I’m gonna kill you!” I replied more angrily.

“But I am not like other mosquitoes!” the mosquito said.

“What do you mean?” I was annoyed.

“I do not cause any disease.” the mosquito said.

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“Liar! You must be Anopheles, the malaria parasite.” I guessed.

“No…”

“So are you that new diseases carrying mosquito they are talking about nowadays? What was it! Umm… Yeah… Zika virus carrying parasite. Right?”

“No… What is that!?” the mosquito exclaimed.

“Leave it. Then you must be carrier for that botfly eggs, causing Myiasis infection.” I said.

“No… I’m not.”

“Then you would be carrying a filariasis worm, causing elephantiasis.”

“No…! I’m cannot produce no elephant!”

“Then you must be that dengue fever causing mosquito, with that bunyamwera virus or dirofilaria emmits!” I went on.

“No… I’m not that either!” the mosquito was irritated.

“Then are you that haemagogus kind, causing yellow fever? Carrying Yellow Fever Virus, are you?” I inquired.

“No! Don’t have that!”

“Oh then you are that sleeping sickness causing mosquito. That West Nile Fever type. Right?”

“No… I’m a local. I haven’t been outside this street in my life!” the mosquito said.

“So do you cause myxomatosis, the one that kills those poor rabbits?” I asked.

“No… What are rabbits anyway?” the mosquito replied.

“Forget that. So are you carrying Bwamba fever virus causing Bwamba Fever or lymphadenopathy? Causing abnormal swelling of lymph nodes?” I continued asking.

“No… I don’t cause that.”

“Encephalitis? That abnormal swelling of brain?”

“No…”

“Polyarthritis or Arthralgia, causing joint pain?”

“No…”

“Ah! Then you are carrying that Sindbis Virus, causing Pogosta disease!”

“No mahn!”

“So do you cause that inflammation of membranes protecting the brain? Meningitis?”

“No…!”

“Urticaria? The one where we develop skin rashes and itchy bumps?”

“No…”

“Oh so do you cause thickening of skin and the tissues underlying it? Filariasis? That roundworm infection?”

“No…!”

“Are you causing ‘river blindness’, known as onchocerciasis? Oh man! Then stay away from me! I don’t wanna be blind!” I jumped up in fright.

“Calm down dude! I don’t blindness!” the mosquito confirmed.

“So you cause Rift valley fever? With headaches and muscle pains?” I went on.

“No, not even that.”

“Not even that? Then what do you cause?” I was exhausted now.

“Nothing man! I cause nothing! I will just bite you and take a little blood of yours. That’s it. No diseases, nothing.” the mosquito blabbered out his frustration.

“But you will sure cause itching and swelling in that area where you bite!” I still pushed it.

“That is just temporary man. Nothing to scare about. You stay calm then I can even avoid that with perfect bite, which will cause nothing to you.” the mosquito suggested.

“Don’t worry, you jumpy little squirrel! I will cause nothing to you. So may I bite you now?” the mosquito went on.

“Hell with it boy! You may not be ‘something’ causing mosquito. You may be able to bite perfectly. But I am going to kill you anyway…” I said, while spreading an evil smile on my face.

With that I splashed my arm over it and squeezed out all the life out of him.

“Why…?” he said his last words.

“As you are a mosquito. You never know, what your bite might cause… You are full of disease.” I justified.

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P.s.: Don’t wait for them to bite you. Kill those disease-spreading-parasites anyway. 😛

Avoid filling these blanks

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People are in the race to improvement. We go through several pages of documents and articles and compare ourselves with different personalities to find our faults and improvise thereon.

However, there are some basic things that can help us live better.

Avoiding the following blanks can very well help you avoid fights, depression, etc., can help boosting confidence, and can help to shape better your overall personality.

Try it yourself:

Finding Problems:
> The problem is that ______________.
(Try working on the solutions instead. Know the problem but don’t say it. Just work on it.)

Finding Reasons:
> I know that but ______________.
(Stop finding reasons, aka excuses)

Taking Assumptions / Judging People:
He must be ______________.
(Stop assuming something about someone)

Putting a limit on yourself:
I can’t ______________.
(Stop assuming something about yourself)

Justifying your actions:
I did it because ______________.
(No need to justify your actions, unless your evaluation is dependent on it 😛 . Dumb people won’t understand. And smart people will know it looking at the results.)

Gossip:
> You know what (just) happened? ________________.
(If you are telling something good, go on. If it is just gossip, stop right there.)

Faking your thanking:
> Thank you for your _____________.
(Just mean your thank you from your heart, no need of extra words)

Justifying your failure:
> I tried but ______________.
(Say I tried and failed. And I will try again) (filling this blank bluffs your brain into believing that failure was not your fault, which actually always is.)

Blaming Others:
> It didn’t work out because ______________.
(First look at your own faults, if you can’t find any, which won’t happen of course, then blame others…)

Expressing your hate (with anger)
> I just hate ____________.
(It’s okay that you hate it. But is it really necessary to say / announce it? Hate is often accompanied with anger, which corrodes our ability to think or introspect ourselves, and we often say things which shouldn’t have been said)

Expressing your Love:
> I love you because ____________.
(Love requires no reason, if your does, its not love)

Have any such blanks? Add a comment…

*Random Post*

14 short stories that I someone shared with me… I think they are worth reading and sharing.

1. Fall and Rise

Today, when I slipped on the wet tile floor a boy in a wheelchair caught me before I slammed my head on the ground.  He said, “Believe it or not, that’s almost exactly how I injured my back 3 years ago .

2. A father’s advice

Today, my father told me, “Just go for it and give it a try!  You don’t have to be a professional to build a successful product.  Amateurs started Google and Apple.  Professionals built the Titanic

3. The power of uniqueness.

Today, I asked my mentor – a very successful business man in his 70’s – what his top 3 tips are for success.  He smiled and said, “Read something no one else is reading, think something no one else is thinking, and do something no one else is doing.

4. Looking Back

Today, I interviewed my grandmother for part of a research paper I’m working on for my Psychology class.  When I asked her to define success in her own words, she said, “Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.

5. Try and U shall know

I am blind by birth. When I was 8 years old, I wanted to play baseball. I asked my father- “Dad, can I play baseball?” He said “You’ll never know until you try.” When I was a teenager, I asked him, – “Dad Can I become a surgeon?”. He replied “Son, you’ll never know until you try.” Today I am a Surgeon, just because I tried!

6. GOODNESS & GRATITUDE

Today, after a 72 hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me at the grocery store and gave me a hug.  When I tensed up, she realized I didn’t recognize her.  She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most sincere smile and said, “On 9-11-2001, you carried me out of the World Trade Center.”

7. LOVE CONQUERS PAIN

Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying.  And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face.

8. A DOOR CLOSES TO OPEN ANOTHER

Today at 7AM, I woke up feeling ill, but decided I needed the money, so I went into work. At 3PM I got laid off. On my drive home I got a flat tire. When I went into the trunk for the spare, it was flat too. A man in a BMW pulled over, gave me a ride, we chatted, and then he offered me a job.  I start tomorrow.

9. LOOKING BACK

Today, as my father, three brothers, and two sisters stood around my mother’s hospital bed, my mother uttered her last coherent words before she died. She simply said, “I feel so loved right now. We should have gotten together like this more often.”

10. AFFECTION

Today, I kissed my dad on the forehead as he passed away in a small hospital bed.  About 5 seconds after he passed, I realized it was the first time I had given him a kiss since I was a little boy.

11. INNOCENCE

Today, in the cutest voice, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to start recycling. I chuckled and asked, “Why?” She replied, “So you can help me save the planet.”  I chuckled again and asked, “And why do you want to save the planet?” “Because that’s where I keep all my stuff,” she said.

12. JOY

Today, when I witnessed a 27-year-old breast cancer patient laughing hysterically at her 2-year-old daughter’s antics, I suddenly realized that I need to stop complaining about my life and start celebrating it again.

13. KINDNESS

Today, a boy in a wheelchair saw me desperately struggling on crutches with my broken leg and offered to carry my backpack and books for me.  He helped me all the way across campus to my class and as he was leaving he said, “I hope you feel better soon.”.

14. SHARING

Today, I was traveling in Kenya and I met a refugee from Zimbabwe.  He said he hadn’t eaten anything in over 3 days and looked extremely skinny and unhealthy.  Then my friend offered him the rest of the sandwich he was eating.  The first thing the man said was, “We can share it.”

It’s so Amazing – that we can say so much with just few words…!!

Movie-goers

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Movies – One of those amazing inventions of mankind… 😛

Such an amazing experince we have, when we go out on a movie with our friends! Movies are joyful experiences, unless… you know 😛

So here’s a list of movie-goers. Some are formidable to go out with and some are fun… Enjoy!

The Commentator
The most annoying and irritating fellow! He keeps on reciting the whole plot (may be he has seen the movie, or he has read the review, or does some random guess, whatever!) But he will not allow you to see the movie on the screen without the commentary from the commentary box, right behind you! :@

The Serious Sucker
He’s a total intent movie watcher… He will not move unless the movie stops! He will not answer the calls. He will not even talk to the person sitting besides him. He will not even blink… For the sake of argument. 😛

The Sleeping Duck
Zzzzzz… Seriously! 😀 Not that the movie is kinda boring, but this one can’t ignore the dark light, the comfortable seat and the cool air. No matter what the actors are doing, how interesting the plot turns out to be, how much noise the surroundings have, and no matter who is sitting beside, they will doze off like a baby. But hey! What’s this sound!!! (Snores…) 😀

Mobile Moozer
Why do they come to the movie, if all they wanna do is keep themselves dumped in to their mobile screens! They keep on checking out their mobiles and the light gives effect of a white-light disco-ball. Good you have that talent dude, but plz, this is not the time! Worst are those cases who keep the mobile infront of their face, so the light comes directly on your face. To make it worse than worst, Mr. Fate will give them seat right infront of you 😛

Long Legs
God makes man. But sometimes, he even makes blunders. Long Legs will sit right behind you, with his over-extended legs hitting right at the back of your seat. He keeps on shifting in his seat, giving you constant kicks behind your back. You can try to look back and share your annoyance. And if Long Legs is a girl, forget that. As you cannot tell anything to girls without being accused of harassment. :-/

Big Buddy
He’s good. He’s talented. And He’s big… He is sitting right infront of you. And he’s blocking your sight. What can be done? Nothing… Change your seat, if possible. 😀 (Oh and, he might even have a gas-emitter on him :P)

The Blabbering Blab
Someone please shut this blab down!! God! She speaks so much!! She will constantly keep on talking to someone besides her. If no one is interested, then she will talk on her phone. If the battery is down, then she would probably speak to herself. But she can’t keep her little mouth tightly shut. Why don’t they have a Keep Silence Rule placed inside the theatre, you would think… 😛

Damsel in Distress
I got this phrase while chatting with my best friend today only 😛 But it fits well here… These are those kinda people with whom you can’t watch any movie, peacefully. They would cry on emotional scenes and they would freak out on horror scenes. Not b’cuz the horror is so horrifying, but ‘cuz they are Damsel in Distress. Instead of enjoying the movie, you would have to enjoy their constant actions, and if she’s a girl, she would constantly annoy you with her screaming and scratching you arms! 😛

Love Birds
Ooo… Holding hands, unbreakable eye contact, loving smiles, playing legs (without footwears) , hollywood-style smooches… They don’t care what happens to the kidnapped little girl, or the bewitched family or the 100 million robbery… All they want is a silent corner and a little privacy 😉 But hey! Theatre is a public place, ain’t it? 😀

New-made Parents
Yes… There life is changed from Love birds to babysitters. There is no one who would keep the baby safe, and they can’t even resist the urge to go watch a movie and live that life they had when they were in those category of Love Birds! But the baby wants attention. So the baby would start crying all of a sudden, with no relation whatsoever with the scene going on the screen… The couple would have a hard time in settling the baby down! And what you are looking at my buddy, your film is going on… Concentrate 😛

The LOLs
They take LOL literally and seriously implement it in their lives! Be it a little funny comment that the character pass or be it a really funny moment on screen, they would LOL (Laugh Out Loud), literally, taking all the attention to them, and defecting the impact of the comedy on screen. You would think twice before laughing, if on a funny scene, you feel like laughing and that guy isn’t… 😛

The Humour-o-us-Tragedy
There’s a serious scene going on and someone passes a sloppy comment. There’s a love scene going and someone passes a foul comment. There’s a comedy going on and someone tries to… (Oh shut the f@#k up!) He’s constantly passing comments and trying to make the people around him laugh with his bad sense of humour. Okay, sometimes he hits the goal, but still, he annoys… Make your own movie if you want, dude! :@

Unknown Speaker
You hear this ‘khus-pus’ (unknown whispers) around you. You try to find who’s that person, but the darkness kills your sight. You can’t figure out who he is, but still, the whispers keeps on buzzing in your ears, like a sound after an explosion… :-/

Late Comers
They are always late. And they would always try to find their seat on their own. They would always make mistakes in searching the seat. And they would… always… annoy you by passing by from your seat. :@

The Foodies
*Packets Ruffling* *Efforts to open the packet* *Order Announcements* *Giggles and Yummmms* *Munch* *Smack* *Crack* *Chomp* *Pieces Falling on the floow* *Thwack* *Pop* *Chewing Noises* *Passing the parcel* *The smell* *Burp*…. Anything else to say? 😛

Miss Too Much
I recently came across this one. She will spoil your whole experience. First she will comment on the seats, then on the audio quality and then on the people around. She will not let you watch the movie peacefully. First she will bring you to a nonsense movie, just because she wants to see it. Then she’ll annoy you by not keeping quiet at all.

During intervention, she will even want you to go and buy her something, not as soon as the break commences but when it is about to end. So, you’ll miss the movie. Further, she will not say it directly, she will just sit there next to you and you are supposed to assume that she needs something. And no, she will never go and buy it on her own.

The worst of all company to be with at movies, also at other places…

The All Rounder
Oh this is me… 😀 He’s a total enjoyable company to go on a movie with! He will eat, he will laugh, he will cry (okay not like that), he will pass comments, he will keep silence when necessary, he will not touch the mobile (if does, he will make sure he doesn’t annoy anyone), he will keep his volume down, he would take care of the person he’s with, he will not let you get bored (let the movie be whatever), and he will even hold your hand, if need be, or I should say, if she be…umm…you know 😉

Rick Savage Private Eye – Book Report

I hadn’t had a case in months. But here in Rivercity, I didn’t go looking out for trouble. Trouble had a way of finding ‘me’…!” Rick was thinking.

Rick Savage is reading newspaper, sitting on his chair with folded foots over the table. The table is cluttered with newspaper articles and the room is so dark that it is hard to look at even one’s own hand.

Just then, the door thudded.

Rick looked irritated. He folded his newspaper back and put it down on the table, saying “It’s open…”

A blonde girl with beautifully crafted face came inside. She was wearing a knee-length overcoat.

“Are you Savage?” the girl enquired.

“Only until I have my morning coffee… What’s your moniker?” Rick replied.

“My moniker is Monica. But my friends call me ‘trouble’…”

Rick exclaimed to himself “I was right! I had trouble right here at Rivercity!

Rick asked Monica “What seems to be the trouble, Trouble?”

Monica walked in her own charming way all to the table Rick was sitting at and said “It’s my husband, Felton. I think he’s trying to… kill me!”

Rick got up to his feet in shock and moved all around the table towards Monica.

“What makes you think so, doll-face?” Rick asked.

“This…” Monica pulled out a letter from her coat and gave it to Rick.

Rick opened the letter-

Dear Monica,
I’m gonna kill you.
Dearly,
F.

Rick walked to and fro in the room for about a minute. And then he turned to Monica and said “This could be a death threat, alright! What you want me to do about it, gorgeous?”

“I want to hire you…” Monica replied.

“That would be 200 bucks…” Rick said.

“… to keep me alive!” Monica added.

“… in advance!” Rick added.

Rick thought “I’m good but I’m not stupid!

LATER THAT NIGHT-

It was a typical rusty club. Round tables with red cloth on them. Four chairs arranged at each table in perfect order that it seemed that no one’s ever touched them. A piano in the far left corner with an old trembled musician trying to play. The receptionist at the door looked bored of all the guests around and was sleeping standing at the reception. The bar counter was as usual, unattended.

Rick entered the club. Monica had asked him to meet her at that torch-light club, where she was the torch-singer. She figured her husband wanted to bump her off.

“Hey Savage!” A man in his forties, wearing black coat and holding a cigar in his hands came to Rick.

“Well… it’s ain’t good all inspector, Franklin!” Rick commented.

“You’re right. It’s new tenant farmer! What you doin’ here, famous!” Franklin replied.

“I’m on a case, flat-foot!” Rick replied.

Franklin threatened “Watch it, Gumshoe! Or I’ll pull your license, pass you a ticket and clean your cloak!”

Rick was again suspicious and murmured to himself “I got the feeling that he didn’t like me…

Rick walked to a table and sat down. A waitress in exposed gown came to Rick and said “Hey there, Savage!”

“Well… it ain’t my favourite waitress! How you’re doing, Francie!” Rick talked in his usual suspicious tone.

“What can get you, Savage?”

“The usual…”

“Ok…” And the waitress lowered herself on Rick and kissed him.

Rick murmured “The food here stinks, but the service is incredible…!

Rick pushed her off and said “Not now, Francie! I’m on a case…”

Francie said briskly “That guy over there… He’s creep! I think he’s up to no good!”

Rick saw that man Francie was referring to. He was a dull face, no vigor man in his thirties. He was sitting alone on the last table with his hands on the table. He looked like he was waiting for someone.

“What makes you think so, gorgeous?” Rick enquired.

Francie replied “He’s been here since an hour, and all he’s ordered is a butcher knife!”

“Don’t worry babe! I’ll check it out…” Rick said in an casual tone.

Rick went to that man and said “Hey buddy! You mind telling me who you are?”

“The name’s Mitch. Felton Mitch…” The man replied.

Rick suspiciously asked “You don’t happen to be married to a songbird named Monica?”

“Yes… Till death, the worst part!” Felton replied with a smeared face and rage in his eyes.

Rick walked back to his table and thought “I’d better keep one eye on Monica and one eye on Felton.”

The music started to play. Monica came from darkness. She was looking like a princess of the heavens! She was dressed all white with white fur around her neck. She walked slowly and looked directly at Rick. She was singing a song and her eyes said something, as if she was trying to say something through that song, or may be something important than the song…

Rick saw her with his mouth open. He was dumbstruck at the flawless beauty of Monica… He murmured “To heck with Felton! I’d keep my both eyes on Monica!!”

Monica sung her song melodiously like a bird. She sat on the bar table and tilted against the side poles. All of a sudden, the lights went off. There was a sound of gun-shot! Someone screamed and the lights came back…

Monica lay on the floor, still looking beautiful, but dead…

Everyone ran towards her body. Franklin knelt over her body and checked for her pulse. He instructed two guys to move her body out. Then he turned to the crowd and roared “Alright now! Nobody move… Everyone here is a suspect.”

“Everyone, but me… Rick Savage, Private eye!” Rick said.

Rick continued “Monica gave me a death threat letter she got. And it was signed ‘F’.” He said it with a special stress on F and looking towards Franklin.

“So?” Franklin said.

“That means you’re a suspect too!” Rick explained.

“That’s ridiculous! I’m a cop!” Franklin said in protest.

“Well then… It must be her husband.” Rick moved to the table Felton was sitting and said “Why did you do it, Felton?”

Felton got up from his seat in protest and said “I didn’t kill Monica! I loved her…! I even carved out her initials on the table with this knife! Look!!” and he showed Rick his carvings on the table.

“Well well… Then may be it was Francie!” Rick said moving towards the place where Francie was standing.

“Don’t throw it, Savage! I was in the kitchen when she was shot!” Francie replied in her defense.

The door of the club opened again and a girl came in.

“Hey look! Monica’s alive!” Franklin exclaimed on looking at Monica coming in from the door. She was dressed in a black woolen top and a round hat.

“Well! I’m Monica’s twin sis! Monica called me here to meet her tonight!”

Rick said “Well I’m afraid you’re a little late. Monica just cashed her cheque…”

“Oh no!!” Exclaimed the girl and started crying.

“Lay there gorgeous! You got a name?” Rick said.

“I’m Veronica…” said the girl.

“Well that starts with a ‘V’. So you’re not a suspect.” Rick said.

“… but my friends call me ‘Fun’…” Veronica continued.

Rick was thinking. He looked at the innocent faces of people standing there. His suspects – Franklin, Felton, Francie and Fun! And voila! He suddenly got that who was his killer… Savage has solved another case!
Self-pleased Rick smirked his smile and noted down his pointers in notebook…

–THE END–

Well this piece was taken from one episode from “The Small Wonder” titled “Big J Private Eye”… In the episode following was the conversation after pictorial representation of above story-

Reggie: “Hey! What kinda ending is that!!”

Joan: “Jamie! You can’t let the story hanging like that!”

Jamie: “You all really wanna know who’s the murderer?”

The class unanimously said “Yeah!”

Jamie: “You gonna have to read the book…”

😛

Yaaaaawwn!

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Yawn… They come at such silly moments that we are left exposed to other people. So hard we try to stop them, yet they force us to open our mouth in so weird manner that we are left apologising after that.. Awkward!

You all must have faced such situations in your life, where you are trying so hard, with all your might and concentration. But your yawn always overpowers you! And the show ends with a howling sound or some weird smelly air or just laughing bunch of people who die laughing at your facial architecture at the time of yawning…

My yawn report starts in the classroom… I am sitting on the first bench. The teacher is teaching us something, in her usual monotonous and low voice. I knew that my yawn will ruin her low tone and buy me some free trouble. So I looked sideways, outside the window and yawned with my hand covering my mouth. But accidentally the sound of my yawn came out.

That was it… My teacher heard it and gave me punishment to stand outside the classroom. I started leaving the class. On my way, I decided to apologize to my teacher. I said “Sooooooooaaaaaawwwwwrrry”! Again, in front of the whole class I yawned with that “aaawww” pattern. I just ran outside the class to wash my face then without looking at my teacher…

Similar situation arises in family get-together. All uncles and aunties talk all nonsense things which you have to listen. Then all of a sudden, your eyes starts watering and your breathing gets slower. If they look at you, that can understand that it was a yawn that you stopped from coming out which resulted in such situation.

But the problem with Yawns is that they grow bigger and wilder on hiding them or suppressing them. So this time, some or other of your family member would see you yawning and the game’s over…

Imagine you’re with your girlfriend on a date. You have planned the night in the most romantic manner to get her on. You’re sitting in a restaurant, hands in hands and eyes locked. Both having butterflies in belly that what would happen tonight…

You encourage her to talk about something, anything. (Cuz being a Man, you have scarcity of topics to talk about). She starts talking…

From one topic to other, from her puppy to her aunt, from her friend’s dressing sense to her neighbour’s deo, she shares everything with you. In your mind you regret your decision to ask her to talk. It was better that way when you were just staring at each other, holding hands. But now it was too late to regret. It was impossible to stop her…

Now all you can do is pray – Pray that the same old enemy of yours “Yawn” doesn’t bounce up from nowhere and ruin the night that you so eagerly are waiting for. But, speak of devil and devil’s here. You suppress your yawn by hard pressing your lips together. But still your girlfriend notices a sudden watering in your eyes. She asks you what happened which you cleverly avoid by saying something romantic.

You start drinking water to avoid the yawn from returning. But, again a few minutes later, your yawn comes up with greater force. This time, being impossible to stop it, your mouth opens to the fullest and then slowly closes by releasing huge amount of air. You somehow manage to avoid the sound, cuz you were in a public place and you didn’t want to disturb others. But no use! Your girlfriend noticed it this time and is shouting on you that you are not interested in her at all… Your night dreams are just dreams now!

Parties… So great place where people meet and talk… But when there’s talk, there can be boring talks and where there are boring talks, yawns would come up to help you spoil the day…

It is your friend’s wedding. Party at night. You gather to have a group photograph to cherish your memories… The photographer says “Cheeeeeeze”. Just when everyone else was smiling and the photographer was to click the snapshot, you yawn. You try hard to avoid it by pressing the lips tight. But still, your facing expression are no where similar to that when we say “Cheeeeeze”… Speaking about memories, yes, photograph had captured the memory, but it turned out embarrassing instead of loving one…

Even when you’re the best man at your friend’s wedding. You’re going the best man’s speech, and when the yawn creeps in to your mouth making you words sound like gas bombs to everyone…! Don’t know about humor in your speech, but people will laugh for sure…

The most dangerous and deadly yawns comes at office. You’re in the meeting with all the senior executives sitting in front of you. You people are discussing about some hot issue concerning your organization, the solution of which is so importantly needed. Everyone is tensed and everyone is bored… (cuz they know – sitting in this closed air-conditioned room and swiping the slides won’t solve anyone’s problem!) Your boss is briefing you about some serious issue that you are going to tackle. Just when he is about to ask you your views, the Yawn in your mouth expands the space between you lips to their fullest and you stand there embarrassed in front of the whole herd of bosses… It’s time to forget your promotion dreams this year!

Yawns are natural. They can come up anytime, anywhere. But the humans have made up their minds that a person yawning means he is not interested in that day’s play – which may not be true. We try to avoid Yawns, but they are not supposed to be avoided. Talking scientifically, yawn helps you in regaining the Oxygen needs of you body in one big stretch. Which if you avoid is going to affect your heart’s pumping exercise…

But socially, Yawns brings distrust and annoyance from audience. So better learn some way to yawn in public, cuz they are going to come up at unusual times, ready to spoil you night, ready to give you embarrassing moments… 😛

P.S.: Even when writing this post, I yawned a dozen times… 😉 But my friend’s request is to be honored, no matter what…

Go on.. You may Yaaaaawwn at your heart’s request now.. Now that you’ve read the post.. 😛