A Visit to the Human Shop

How the world would have been if we were not at the top of the food chain…

A animal kid narrates down his day’s experience at the human shop.

… …

I was very excited that day. I had never been to a Human Shop before. My friends told me that it’s a paradise for shopping for human products. You can find all the articles ans artifacts made from or relating to humans.

At the entrance, there was a huge statue of human. He looked so cute, and even more delicious! I wondered how others can be vegetarian! I felt the hunger as soon as I saw this little fellow…

I entered the main hall and whoa! I was left open-jawed! So many shops… So many shops!! (Repeated for emphasis)

The place was filled with animals of all kinds. From carnivores to herbivores, from four legged to two legged, from land animals to birds… It was a carnival at that place.

I understood that the crowd was due to the announcement last week about a special sale on human products this whole week. No one in their right mind would let such an opportunity pass.

My eyes instantly went to the apparels store. I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my paws over the smooth human skinned jacket. The smell of the skin was so overwhelming.

I grabbed the jacket and went to the trial room. And as soon as I put it on, it felt a part of my body. I couldn’t let it go away from myself.

Wow and they had brought new collection! So many patterns of beautifully made human skin apparels! I just wanted them all…

I looked for the stuff I wanted. But it was hard to overlook other collection as well. The shopaholic in me was coming out of the cocoon.

Main shopping being done at the apparels store, next I went too the food section, my personal favourite…

Ah the smell of hot human fries and human spicy delight..! I couldn’t resist myself from dancing and hopping towards the smell.

I ordered Eyeball salad for starters along with some wine, and started scanning the menu for next dish to order.

While choosing from so many options, I even got carried away by the snapshots of human dishes printed on the menu. I hoped this restaurant made these dishes as tasty as they looked good in these pictures.

I finally ordered my favourite saucy finger-rolls and crunchy meat balls.

While the cook inside was testing my patience, I looked around to see what was happening. All sorts of animals were having a fun time. I saw kids playing with their human hand toy, beating each other. While two adults were discussing business in a corner. And next to me a young dog couple was tasting each other’s parts.

The doors of the kitchen opened and I headed the cries of those humans while the cook was trying to get the hold of it to chop his head off. Poor thing I felt, but tasty my stomach said… After all, what good use are they otherwise!

My order finally arrived and I ate each piece of human with utmost delight. That taste of its roasted skin, that crunch of its deep fried pieces and those delicious finger-rolls… With chili sauce! Yummm!

Now that my stomach was satisfied, I switched back to shopping.

My friends had also shared with me about a human pet shop. I went to that section and saw to my surprise, there were so many human pets available there.

There were cute ones, new-born ones, athlete ones and simple homely types. I observed each one of them. It is said that you can’t just choose your pet, your pet should choose you too.

It happened with me. A new born one looked at me and I looked at it. It was so cute and so innocent. I instructed the shopkeeper to open the cage and let me try my luck with this little human.

When I took it in my hand, it cuddled me so innocently. I felt like it was telling me to take him away from this cage. I purchased my first pet…

I also bought a nice iron strap to tie its upper body. It would be risky to trust a human without precautions.

As I was going out, I saw a huge and scary human. It was uttering something in anger. I asked the shopkeeper why was it so weird. The shopkeeper replied that it was a blood-hound type. It was used as a security helper. Usually by police, they were very good at protective instincts.

I felt good that humans are useful in several distinctive ways. Good we animals discovered so many ways of using these humans!!

Next I went to the furniture shop. My dad had asked me to buy some good human heads to hang on the walls of our office. It brings good luck they said.

But it wasn’t easy to buy human heads. They had to be cleaned and washed with chemicals so that they don’t smell or get spoiled due to defabrication.
I bought a few other items like fresh human hair, some household items from the Bones store. The bones store here was famous for having freshly extracted bones which were thrice chemically washed and polished to keep them shiny and dust-free.

My time was running out. I went to the last section for the day – the Human Zoo.

Here, at The Human Shop, the Zoo was way different than the normal Zoo outside. It was a museum cum exhibition cum sanctuary of different kinds of humans. All races, all types of humans were collected from different parts of the world and showcased here.

There was a history section were we could see the artificially made sculptures of extinct human races. I read few of the exhibits and found them to be so informative.

There were few live human cages where we could see humans live and survive. The way humans communicated with each other was so weird. I couldn’t understand anything. But there are animals who study in this subject and they have researched that humans have highly developed communication techniques amongst other animals. Interesting, ain’t it?!

I moved on to the circus section of the Zoo where humans were trained and maintained to do entertaining and dangerous tricks.

The lion sir made a human stand on one leg with a whiplash. Then the human balanced with one leg on a ball! So cool!

Then Giraffe sir and Elephant sir threw the human over the ropes where it clinged on to the ropes and did some amazing stunts.

I wondered what humans would have done in this world if they were given complex brain structure like us animals…

Science sections had practical demonstrations of human body and their natural system.

In one show they showed human body and its parts by operating a live one infront of us. I couldn’t watch that sight so I moved on.

In another, they showed human reproducting system. Two humans were made to get intimate and the speaker explained how their natural breeding practice was similar to ours.

Everything there was so interesting and informative. But as we all know, time is never enough…

My day was over and now I had to go home. I took all my purchases and my pet with me to the cab pickup point.

I called a human cart. I instructed the handler to ride me to my destination. He whip-splashed the human hard enough that it jumped and started running at one instant. I personally hated the way these human were treated and beaten up for carting. But we didn’t have any other faster transportation.

Sometimes, we animals treat these humans in ways so in-animal. But what can be done..! After all, they were supposed to help us animals…

On my way home, I thought about how humans were exploited by us animals. I thought of so many ways in which the conditions could be made better. But this is what we all do, isn’t it? We just speak about it and do nothing…

I paid the cart handler and stroke the human on its back. It had tears in his eyes… Probably some day, things will turn out better for these human beings.

The Curious Case of my Sister

The Curious Case of my Sister

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Last night, I came to know that my cousin sister was suffering from depression. When my aunt narrated the whole case to me, I felt anger, worry and disgust at the same time for various things and people.

She is in her junior high school final year. Her final exams are going to decide her fate for high school admissions. Apart from the fact that those exams were necessary for her further studies, they got her into clinical depression. However, the exams were not the only reason for her illness. There were other reasons involved too.

—–

When I had last met her, she was doing her homework. Out of curiosity, I peeked into her work. She was writing word-to-word, punctuation-to-punctuation from the textbook into her notebook!

I asked her if she was given any punishment or what, that she was copying each letter out of the textbook.

She replied that this was the way they taught at her School. It was a general practice to write the whole chapter two times word-to-word from textbook. So that they could remember the whole text and answer any question they might ask in exams!

At that time, I had pointed out that it was not a correct approach and that she should work more on understanding the concept than on scoring marks in exams.

My sister replied that her School and her Board/University expects Students to write exactly the way the textbook prints. If they wanted a good score, they had to mug up the textbook to score good. Writing answers in their own way would only give them passing marks or even less. And if they don’t get good marks, they won’t get admission to reputed colleges/institutions. The degrees and certifications won’t be that valuable while competing for job in big companies, as they shortlist candidates based on their final score.

This highlights a serious problem with the education system in our country and the systems dependent on it.

—–

While her teaching approach was as useless as her teachers, another thing that got her into depression was lack of rest. I got to know her daily schedule from her mother.

– Wake up at 5 am
– 7 am to 12 School
– 12 to 2 pm Extra Classes and Tests at School
– 3 pm Reach home for her first regular meal of the day
– 4 to 6 pm Tuitions
– Reach home and start working on homework (such as copying of whole textbook) from School and Tuitions till late night 11-12.
– Then go to sleep dreaming about tomorrow’s day at school, taunts from teachers when she’s not able to recite word-by-word from the textbook and the test.

And after this hectic schedule, she was not even able to understand the practical implications of what she was studying! Her teachers would first humiliate her in front of the whole class and then call her parents, if she didn’t complete her homework or couldn’t recite the textbook fluently. And her teacher wouldn’t accept any other answer or concept suggested by other authors, but only the things written in their textbook.

—–

So the reasons that caused her depression were hectic schedule, pressure from teachers and school, pressure from society and future, illogical and orthodox educational and evaluation system and ignorance by parents.

I see our educational system going on a wrong direction of marks-based evaluation. Several tests, semesters and projects are loaded onto the over-occupied minds of students and then they are pressurized to score well. Competition among the students adds to the pressure and the silent support from parents serves as a multiplying factor.

So what can be done about it? Anything at all?

From Backpack to Backache

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I parked my bike and went inside the rusty building. As soon as I entered through the front gate, the smell of hospital made me feel sick. I remembered the mild back pain, which I had since last two months. I had almost forgot that pain while driving.

I had a small backpack with me, which contained nothing but a few papers and a other usual accessories. But still that was a burden for me…

——–

I jumped out of the School bus, skipping two steps at a time. I ran towards the entrance gate. I had to reach the first class on time and sit on the best bench possible besides a cool company. And for all that I had to reach the new class on time.

The heavy load, heavier than my own weight felt nothing to me. It was part of me at the school. Elders used to feel pity for us to have such a heavy load in our backpack, but I felt it was just a bag – with my favourite cartoon character on it.

——–

I walked towards the doctor’s cabin and was feeling a little weird. A huge age difference was visible in front of me if I compared other patients with me. At the age of just 24, I was suffering from backache. I couldn’t ask for more, but my dad also recently had the same issue after sitting 40 years on a desk. And he laughed at me when I said that I am having this problem after sitting just 1 year, 9 months, 3 days behind my desk!

I wondered what went wrong! My lifestyle had not changed totally and I followed all the ergonomic guidelines at workplace. Further, I used to move around every hour. So what exactly went wrong…!?

——–

It was a hectic day! My friend was miffed, my teacher caught my mischief and I didn’t get any thing in that day’s English lecture about some sort of poem. And that day breakfast was not so intriguing. So, in all the day wasn’t really good.

I entered the bus after everyone was inside. I sat on my favouite spot – just next to the driver. From there, I could see everyone in the bus, and it also made sure that I would get a sitting place. I talked driver into playing my favourite tracks, even when exams were going on. And I would watch him drive past different vehicles with ease.

That day, I saw her. She was sitting directly on the straight line drawn from me towards the end of the bus. She also glanced back at me at times. And then shied away. That made my day. 😛

I got off the bus and went home. My mother hugged me and then realized – “Where’s your backpack?”

‘Oops!’ was my reaction. 😀

——–

Doctor said that there are many reasons that I got this backache at young age. The most probable being that I had a sitting job and that I was a little too thin for my height.

He gave me medication and suggested physical training to help ease the pain. I wanted to kick his ass, so I paid him and went away.

When I got the bill, all I saw for the next few days was that ‘Total’.

——–

At such tender age, we start lifting huge backpacks and go to schools. Most of the schools in our country do not have locker system or promote education through screen. So heavy books were bound to make our backpacks heavy.

But those backpacks for 12 long years couldn’t give us any kind of backache or physical pain, which this office desk gave just in a year.

I wondered where was my life heading… I wondered how would be my life 10 years, 20 years, 30 years from now. I wondered – “Am I living to die?”

——–

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Well, it is the truth. Sitting at your desk may earn you money right now, but it is surely gonna kill you painfully.

As they say it, “sitting is the new smoking“.

Doesn’t matter if you exercise, doesn’t matter if you follow the ergonomic guidelines, no matter what you do, it is killing you slowly.

So what is the solution?

Ditch the damn chair! … I’m serious.

There are many options:
1. Use combination of sitting chair and treadmill chair or cycling chair

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2. Sit in proper position and then take a walk in a ratio of 1:5. That means every 10 minutes of sitting, take 50 minutes of physical activity during the day.

3. Avoid sitting with sloth, totally. (Like in the first image)

4. Use a combination of cardiovascular, stretching and weight exercises at home and at office too.

5. Eat healthy, if you can, at least try or fake it.

6. Kick that boss who tells you to sit all day and work.

7. Change that office policy which requires more sitting than doing work.

Can we do any of this?

See This for more info and stats:
1. Info-graphic showing illl-effects of chair
http://www.diygenius.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/truth-about-sitting-down-infographic.jpg
2. Article showing statistical data for sitting
http://edition.cnn.com/2015/01/21/health/sitting-will-kill-you/

Dancing with (Un)known

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It was last evening of Year 2015. I was sitting in my office and was waiting for the call from my friend about the confirmation for the night’s plan. My friend had invited me to join his group for the new year party.

He called and confirmed about the time, place and people invited. I knew no one except my friend. I agreed anyway…

It felt like ages since I had been happy or had lived my life fully after completing my studies and have joined the race of earning money. So, even if I had to join a group of complete strangers, I would not have resisted that night.

When we reached the spot, they recognized me; probably my friend would have told them about me. We introduced each other. I tried to get their names, but the music was too loud… 😛 I couldn’t think about anything else but to go inside and start jumping (my form of dancing :D)

I was about to dance on DJ music – something that I hadn’t done publicly since junior school. Incidents from past life had made me so that I couldn’t be myself in front of anyone…

With little hesitation in the beginning, I started dancing to the beats. It was easy to dance (which I am very bad at) in front of these people as I didn’t know anyone. I didn’t care what they will think about me. I didn’t care if they laugh at my bad steps. I didn’t care about anything but just letting myself go crazy. The beats created rhythmic waves inside me and I couldn’t stop enjoying myself. Oh yes I missed this…!

Soon the strangers turned out to be great friends and it never felt like we were meeting for the first time that night.

While I was dancing, a person from my behind nagged me. I turned around and she said “Can you dance away from me? You’re hitting me constantly!” in a language crude than this.

I apologized and switched places with one of our group member on the opposite side of our circle. After some time, I felt that hits again from my behind. When I looked back, it was the same girl with that same group. They moved all the way from one end to the other of our 12 people circle…! And not only that accused me for touching her, twice!!!

I switched place again. And inside I felt totally vulnerable. There was no one who would trust me that I didn’t do anything to her! Only my friends trusted me as they saw what happened. But what about others? Everyone around me would have thought that I was the bad person. Being a male, it was so easy to get accused of something (as everyone would have assumed that), and so difficult to accuse someone in the opposite gender (as no one would believe that such a thing can happen)! I wondered about women empowerment for a while and then continued dancing…

The night continued till early dawn. It had brought me thrill, laughter, silent smiles, understanding nods, shouts and shocks, chilly winter winds and satisfaction of the night. But above all, it brought me freedom from the fake self that I had build around me. It helped me come out of that closed box and live my life fully, without considering anything about people around me… It helped me overcome the fear of “What will others think?”.

As the countdown began, I rejoiced the change in me…

Truly, a ‘New’ Year for me… This year of mine is dedicated to breaking the rules that I made in my life, to breaking the boundaries created around me.

Happy New Year folks. 🙂

It’s a sin to be Sincere!

“Be sincere in your efforts!”
“Be sincere to your work!”
“Be sincere to your parents!”
“Be sincere to your friends!”
“Be sincere to your partner!”
“Be sincere… Be sincere…”

*****

You all would have heard such advices from various people in your life (assuming you’re not already a sincere person…) So how many of you agree with me that after being sincere, all you got was dissatisfaction? And would the other group argue (out of habit) that what I say is not totally baseless?

Just a few days back, I was talking to my friend who was going to complete one year of his first job. I asked him to share his feelings and experience with me; after all, I was going to be in his shoes in a few months from now.

He started with the usual – “It was a new experience… Different people, different background, different age and different mentality… Rules without logic… Learnt how to handle pressure… Learnt how to work in team… Learnt how to get things done from people… Learnt not to be sincere at work…”

There were many others in his list of experiences and learning, but I was stuck at this particular one! “Learnt not to be sincere at work…” I instantly asked him to elaborate that one. He went on…

*****

Every office has a system of hierarchy. People are supposed to follow that hierarchy. The flow of work delegation goes from top to bottom and the flow of reporting goes from bottom to top. If the organization is strict in its values, people won’t be misusing their roles and posts. But this is hardly a reality! People twist and turn the rules and authority as per their wish to get their personal benefits. They use people, whom they call ‘friends’ rather than colleagues, to get them move upwards in the hierarchy or at least to earn more rewards, which they themselves do not deserve!

*****

I was shocked to hear that! Because, all my life, I had heard the same story from about hundreds of people, that if we want to get results, we must put in our efforts sincerely! But here the dish called ‘reality’ that was being served to me was completely opposite!

*****

Late sittings, skipping meals, working on holidays only gained temporary appreciation. When it came to reciprocate by giving extra pay, long leaves and free time, the organization didn’t do its part. And that made him sad.

While he always adhered to the office timings and priorities, keeping his personal priorities to next level, he was shocked at the reply from his manager for one of his request for leave.

He had an emergency at his home, his dad was sick and he had to take his father to the hospital. But his boss gave him an assignment which required him to go out of town. He requested his boss that better send some other eligible person on this project, because he has family issues to deal with. And the boss replied “Your family is your problem! Office should not suffer due to your personal problems.” That was the time he first realized that being sincere gets him nothing but temporary praise.

Not that his boss was a total jerk, but also he had created his impression of a sincere person. And now, if he resists, he sends out a message that he is changing. Instead, if he had balanced his work and personal life from the start itself, his denial for this outstation assignment wouldn’t have raised so many eyebrows.

 

*****

While he was saying how he went from being sincere to not being so, I wondered, how can an organization benefit from such behavior with its employees! The organizations were themselves reducing the efficiency of its employees. They themselves forced their employees to work with zero motivation and innovation. They killed the employees’ creativity.

“Work after work, and the priority never goes down below ‘high’! It seems like we are stuck in a never ending work cycle, where we are forced to skip all our living rights so that the organization can prosper. Who said that slavery is abolished! Look inside any ‘prosperous’ company…”

I read the above para somewhere on the internet. It so aptly describes the feelings of a ‘tormented employee’!

Fryday

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Today’s Friday. Oh Sorry! Fryday… Why “Fry”day? You’ll know in the end.

… … …

I was going through my phone’s internal storage to clean-up unnecessary junk. In that I found a video of ‘How do we feel Fridays vs Mondays’. I laughed at that again.. It was damn funny! A penguin depicting a person going home fridays and a polar bear depicting a person coming to office on Mondays.

I replayed the video again and again. And slowly my laugh subsided. I saw that “Going home Friday” part repeatedly. And I couldn’t actually relate it to me. I too, like others, had Friday as the last working day in the week. I too, like others, went home at the day end. But, unlike others, I didn’t feel the way they did.

For me Fridays were Frydays… The day I would be so engraved in troubles that you wouldn’t find me smiling at all. All my weekdays would go in unnecessary ‘Stretches’ that my boss makes me do telling some or other ‘priority’ reason. Everyday, to complete some or other ‘urgent’ issue, we have to leave office early after late…

And then on Fridays, when we are waiting for the day to end and go back to our ‘actual’ ‘normal’ ‘our own personal’ life, we are fried with different oils in the frying pan called ‘office’!

… … …

I was getting ready for the office. Today we had a casual-wear day. I dressed up in my comfortable jeans. Just when I was about to leave for the office, I got a SMS from office. “Today, we may give a presentation to the client. So do the needful”

I changed back to formals and went out of the house, looking like an idiot!

… … …

I walked to the boss to give him the status report on the assignment he mailed me last night after office hours… When I enquired about today’s agenda, which he quickly shared with me, he even added “Why do you ask? I hope you are not planning to leave early today! ‘Cuz there’s a very important client meeting I need you to attend and conquor!” I wasn’t even dreaming to leave before 9 p.m. today, but just that I thought that may be, if I do not have too much work load, I’ll leave, may be, at 7 or 8 in the night… (FYI Official working hours are 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.)
I shook my head and he sat back in his comfortable in satisfaction. I walked back to my desk, turned on the computer and saw the desktop background. It was a sunset at some random beach with beautiful natural scenery. So much in contrast with the real world!

… … …

After lunch, we and my fellow collegues, went on a walk, ‘cuz it was still a few minutes that the lunch break would be over. Mr. Fate send yet another boss to my way who asked me “Why are you not on your desk!?” I was about to say “Why aren’t you?” but my bloody mouth replied “It is break time, Sir!” the last word with utmost difficulty!
He gave me a disgusting look and left… I thought I’d have better replied the other statement, ‘cuz anyway the look he gave was the same!

… … …

I was working on something, when all of a sudden a shadow blocked the light falling on my desk. I knew who it was, so I continued working without moving my head around. It stayed there for a minute or so, then went away.
Instantly I received a call from the boss “In my cabin.. QUICK!” I went there, and he was ready to ‘ask that statement’ which I hate the most! My Fryday was ready…

“You are coming tomorrow, right?”

The question mark is only to make the grammer correct. Otherwise, it was a statement, for which I must reply in conformity!

I asked him instead “Sir, I don’t have any urgent work that I need to come on weekends!”

“You don’t decide urgency here! I do! I don’t want to hear anything more…”

I stood there for sometime, and then calculating my odds, went back to my desk to continue working…

… … …

I think, I’ve made my point, How my Fridays were Frydays for me!

I read a nice para somewhere-

“Love your job, but don’t love your company… Because you may not know when your company stops loving you.”

Always Leave Office On Time

1. Work is a never-ending process. It can never be completed.
2. Interest of a client is important, so is your family.
3. If you fail in your life, neither your boss nor client will offer you a helping hand; your family and friends will.
4. Life is not only about work, office and client. There is more to life. You need time to socialize, entertain, relax and exercise. Don’t let life be meaningless.
5. A person who stays late at the office is not a hardworking person. Instead he / she is a fool who does not know how to manage work within stipulated time. He / she is inefficient and incompetent in his work.
6. You did not study hard and struggle in life to become a machine.
7. If your boss forces you to work late, he / she may be ineffective and have a meaningless life too…

But it doesn’t give any way to tackle the blood-sucking boss…

… … …

If you press a spring too much, it will break or will bounce back with higher force… – Some Great Man.

The Concrete Jungle

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Sun was shining bright and it was a hot day. Bathing in my sweat, I was somehow managing to ride my bike in sunlight. I missed my childhood days when I could ride my bike in day time even. Now it is impossible to peddle in such temperature!

I reached my destination and entered the parking lot. It was an open area parking just besides the building. Lost in the song that was playing, I left behind the spot I park my bike at everyday. There are very few places in the parking lot that have tree shade on the vehicle. I had managed to find one such place which was ignored by all and left unoccupied everyday…

I rode back but hey.. I couldn’t find the place. Oh! The music takes me to some other world! I tried searching the place again and again but that place was gone. How can that be possible?

But then I got it… The tree was gone and not the place. I parked my bike in sunlight half-heartedly. And my day continued thereafter as usual.

Next day, again the same burning temperature and that search for a shaded parking space. But, failure repeated and so was half-hearted parking.

Day in day out, I observed parking lot was getting bigger view. And trees were reducing everyday. I enquired with the security personnel who informed me that they were cutting down the trees for increasing the parking area… (And they were actually cutting and not uprooting and planting back somewhere else.!)

That day, I saw a big article in the magazine about droughts in states which were once filled with water. On my way home, I saw school kids discussing about ‘Global Warming and its effects’, supposedly there school project, which was going to fetch them some marks. At home, when I read my evening newspaper, I saw news relating to water drainage problem in a city, criticizing the hardened authority which took no steps for it. Later at night, I watched a movie, a Sci-Fi on Earth and its destruction due to climatic change…

I wondered if everywhere the topic is on buzz… The people are well aware of the situation, the consequences and the measures to be taken… The kids are taught well in advance at the junior level itself about the global warming… Even the entertainment media is making presentations with some social and environmental message… Then why on earth, why are we not doing what we are supposed to do..?

Especially in our country, we make buildings, roads, bridges and all sorts of infrastructure using concrete and steel. So much of unused space, so much of unnecessary construction of huge buildings.. The wastage of space which could have been used to either plant more trees or to accommodate the needy in our country’s ever multiplying population…

Tree plantation programmed are launched every now and then. Thousands of trees are planted. But then they are left at nature’s care. Even we don’t know if those spaces declared for tree plantation is sold and converted into a shopping complex!

Building huge homes, office buildings with great open space, a gigantic shopping complex that can facilitate thousands of shoppers together.. And what’s the use? These buildings are double the size the humans actually need to accommodate themselves!

Instead just build a structure with reasonable space us and use the other area for making our planet green AGAIN… Unnecessary allocation of land for parking should be stopped and engineers, architects should come up with alternatives… Even the public in general should reduce using individual transportation and switch over to public transportation or pooling techniques; which again calls for government to be less corrupt and give proper ‘facility’ in the facility they say of providing!

I wish I don’t have to take birth as a human again…

P.s.: Saying Sorry to our Earth…

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