Sorry.. Who are you?!

Who are all those people who come rushing and buzzing towards us when we find some happiness in our life, like a honeybee attracted to the fresh flower pollen…?!

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There was smile spread across my face, and was probably gonna stretch out of the boundaries of my cheeks. But I didn’t care. I was happy and that was all it. I strode, and strutted, almost hopped and skipped. When I entered and got a glimpse of my new car shinning in the morning sunlight, I stood there admiring its shapes and curves – the only shapes and curves that I admire after you know who’s.

“Ah! You brought a new car…! But you brought it so plain!”

I turned around and found a person from my neighborhood, I didn’t know his name or nothing for that sake. My expressions probably said a big, confused “What?”, so he repeated.

“You brought your car in a very plain, vanilla fashion.”

This time I said out-loud “What?”

“You bought a new car, but brought it in a very non-festive style. No observance, no fete, parade…”

Okay he didn’t use these many synonyms, he just repeated his earlier sentence again, but this time I understood him. By plain he meant that I brought a new car home without “sharing my happiness with others”.

So whenever we find a new happiness in our lives, people of this species pop-up out of nowhere and stand before us. Eyes popped-out of their sockets, weary, like a zombie, looking directly at us; their twisted hands, with bones tearing out of their sordid skin, extended towards us, not in attack, but in anticipation, which is almost similar to an attack; their body bent towards us, not in respect, but as their spines have corroded in expecting things from everyone. They come to us dragging their feet, brushing the dirt on the ground, with their saliva-leaking mouth open, trying to say something while spilling all their gluttony for parties all over us, which will emulsify a stink on to your body and soul…

They are like leeches who feed on people’s happiness.

You can’t run away from them. They will hunt you down even with their perverted legs. You have to face them and choose either to be good or bad, in their ever-judging eyes. You choose to be bad, they will not rest till they are able to spread various kinds of rumors about you everywhere. Some of them might even manoeuvre an evil ambush upon your pride possessions or your newly achieved happiness. You choose to be good, they will disappear almost instantly, if you’re lucky.

Some of them are so hard-skinned, they might even keep sucking out of us even after we have been good to them. They will come with questions, inquiries and desires, more expectations, which will take the toll out of you.

It is said that sharing happiness increases it exponentially. But that doesn’t mean we go sharing our happiness with everyone in this world. That’s just a poor implementation of a good thought.

Our immediate family and friends and others, whom we love and like to be around are the people we want our happiness to be shared. We can also share our happiness with people who have silently helped us in various ways. If we want to share our happiness in monetary or material form, we should choose people wisely. And if you aren’t sure about it, share it with people who don’t expect from you this sharing, but will be more than just happy if you share it with them. They will actually wish good luck for you, unlike those other species of parasites who will almost instantly disappear once they have reaped the benefits out of you.

He came close enough to me, I almost got scared of him attached his suckers upon me, I backed off.

“Let’s see. We will do some celebration once my parents, my friends come visit me. (And I am definitely not calling you in that!” I snubbed his aghast expressions and moved on to leaving from there. He started giving out his precious advises as to how I can park my car and other details, which I half- no- fully unheard.

Why should I share it with my neighborhood, colleagues or those so-called friends, who don’t care a dime about me? Unless you are gonna help me pay the EMI or clean my car every weekend, why should I give a party to you? My dealers terms didn’t mention anything about you earning a right to free food and drinks upon my car purchase…

While moving out, a kid in his skates went past me looking at my car and then shouted “Nice car, uncle.”

I smiled and yelled thanks. Then I re-heard his statement, noted the “uncle” in it, and frowned. Moving on to the gate, I saw the security old guy who keeps a watch at our possessions. I celebrated with him about my new car and he beamed of happiness, giving his blessings out to me. Yes, they were some people I could share my happiness with, not that scrounger!

To him, I should’ve just said “Sorry.. Who are you?!”

The “Perfect Time” Trap

A trap of waking up at the rounded up time in the clock.
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The “Perfect Time” Trap is that when one decides to wake up at a time which is a round figure, they tend to never wake up at any time as they always mark a subsequent time as rounded time compared to current time.

What really helps this is that you wake up at any time in the clock, your definition for a perfect figure time changes.

If you wake up at 6:37, you wanna wake up at 6:40. When it is 6:40, you wanna wake up at 6:45, a more complete figure.

If you wake up at exactly 7:00, a rare scenario, you will take several mins to see the clock, which will again be a non-rounded time, say 7:09. Now you wanna wake up at 7:30…

I go through this everyday. And somehow, I have to let go of my desire to wake up at a perfect time…

First of all, I’d be dreaming about some weird thing which will wake me up early than the time I had expected. So I’d think of a better time to wake up and go to sleep again. Again, all sorts of weird dreams will come up. I’ll somehow get out of those, but it will be too late and the time would have ran way ahead. Desperate to wake up at a perfect time, I’d dig inside the blanket yet another time, this time half awake and counting the time. If I wake up on time this time, I’d still not be happy because anyway I wanted to sleep more.

The only way to come out of this is to wake up at whatever time you open your eyes without seeing the time. Taking another nap for a few minutes more is nothing but a trap. Don’t fall for it… The sand in the hourglass never forms a flat surface on its own.

I say this to me every night and do the same thing every morning. As if, in the morning my mind is not in my control and forgets all my talks from the night earlier. It starts functioning on its own wishes and the result is that I’m always late for everything in the morning.

And now, it has become so normal for me – to wake up late – that the day I break from the trap by waking up at exactly a perfect numerical time, I feel accomplished! 😀

So have you been waiting for a perfect time to fo something? A perfect time to start that book, to leave that sucking job, to propose her, to give that guy a tight slap, to start that new business idea or to start something you really wanna do?

Then do it… There’s no perfect time to start.

Till then, I’ll just get on with that extra 5 mins of sleep. The perfect time to wake up is right now (for you), never (for me). 😉

P.s.: I was waiting to publish this on a perfect time… I’m so obsessed with perfection that doesn’t matter! 😛

Shopping Blues

Not all of us love shopping. Some of us suck at it, while some of us even get scared of the thought of it. So how does someone like me feels when it comes to shopping… Let’s see.

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First of all, when it comes to purchasing something, I’ll just explain myself that I don’t need it. Then after several days or months of finding ways to survive without those things, I’ll finally accept the fact that I need to buy that thing.

No no… This doesn’t mean that I’ll just go there and buy stuff. No. I’ll add that thing in my shopping list. That’s it for now.

Then finally my shopping list will be large enough to call for a day, probably weekend, to go out for shopping.

No, I don’t go shopping here either. My weekend will go finding other stuff to do, trying to persuade my mind that those things are more important than going shopping.

I’ll search on online websites for the products that I want. Scroll and scroll and scroll to find a perfect choice, but then again, there are other websites, which might have different price. So, I’ll just search again on other websites, and again the cycle will repeat. Even if I find a good choice, I’ll just not be able to add it to the cart.

Finally, working without the things becomes difficult, I will not be able to take it more, or probably as someone else has forced me, I’ll go for shopping…

Sulking as it was the shopping day finally, I will just do whatever I can to delay the process. But in the end, I’ll have to go to shopping that day.

Now the first task would be deciding the place to go shopping, deciding on the list of shops. Based on the product that I intend to buy, the options available will be plenty. This is supposed to be a good thing, but not for someone who hates shopping. So, I will pass time asking several friends and strangers about good shops.

Finally I will narrow down to a list of shops where I would set out for finding the products. I will plan my route of transport and will start the journey… preparation for the war actually.

And as soon as I reach the first shop, the war begins…

With so many options and different prices for each options, I will start comparing and evaluating options based on several criteria. Actually, such an evaluation solves the problem of choice for people, but for me, it narrows down to a few favored options. And choosing between them is the actual war. And know that, for me, that’s not easy…

Not just the choices of products, I will even start visiting several shops. This will add more choices to my list, thus complicating it more.

And to add to my problems, I have no idea what do I want actually. What looks good on me, what makes me happy or what do I like out of all the options – I will have no answers to all these questions. And thus, I will not be able to choose from the options.

All these problems combined makes shopping the most difficult task for me. Dilemma from the problem of choice, anger due to lot of options and being unable to choose any, and melancholic feeling from the whole process of shopping makes me feel miserable in the end. Due to this, even after buying something, I will hardly like it as it took a toll out of me while buying that.

At the end of the day, I’d sit in one corner and mope about the purchase that I made, and feel sad for the loss of money that happened. And that night, it will take me great trouble falling asleep.

So, these were my shopping blues…

Living alone vs Living with a family

Living Alone vs Living with Family, which one would you prefer?

… …

When you live alone for long enough, you tend to develop mixed feelings for both these types of living habits.

I stayed away from my family for more than 5 years to complete my education. Thereafter, I have a job away from my family. However, mother or father or both do occasional visits to my place. And so do other relatives.

While I stayed with my family, I never had such thought in my mind. But now I am confused whether I like to stay alone more or with my family.

Look at my own-self argue with other regarding which lifestyle is better:

When we stay alone, we are totally free to do whatever we want. We can give our entire time to ourselves. There’s no one to give us any work, there’s no one to interrupt in our personal time.

While at the same time, there’s no one to talk to. There’s no one to take care of us when we are down with sickness or just depressed. There’s no one to look forward to when we are returning home. It feels lonely at times and depressing even.

But when we stay with our family, we can’t watch whatever we want on TV. Sometimes your favorite show coincides with that of someone in your family. (No you don’t have another TV and neither do you have recording facility). What if there’s someone elderly and their views about something are not the same as yours? What if all they talk about is God and your marriage? It’s better to stay alone than to handle this.

But then whom would you tell all the incidents from today? Whom would you play games with? Whom would you show the profile of your crush and ask for some ideas to approach her? Whom do you ask for a warm hug when you need it so dearly?

But then they invade your room without your permission! They keep on asking weird questions and annoy you. They use your things and change their places. They put their views above yours b’cuz they are elder. Their needs become your priority above your own personal pass time. Your free time gets occupied by their activities.

Nevertheless you were not going to do something great in that free time, were you? You were going to watch some stupid movie or waste your time organizing your library. Or you were going to go through all your friends’ updates and feel miserable about your life.

But then you missed that movie with your friends as you had to take your elder shopping. You missed your night out with your best friend as your family won’t allow you to do that. You couldn’t arrange that match at your house as your grandma won’t like it.

Yes, but no one is stopping you from enjoying. Family deserves your time too. And you can have lots of fun moments with your family too! And you can always mix your family and friends to enjoy events.

But you can’t enjoy the same way as you enjoy with your friends alone.

Vice versa applied too…

Yes but then there are lots of restrictions.

You consider them restrictions. They are only guidelines. For your own safety. And when we live with someone we have to take care of their needs to. Don’t your family takes care of you in all circumstances?

They do. But we don’t have to sacrifice our desires with friends.

Oh is it? Don’t you have to go with them even when you don’t want to? Doesn’t deciding a place to hangout makes you sick with all those arguments and discussions? Don’t you miss your brother or sister more when your friend doesn’t help you with something? You sacrifice in case of friendship too. And haven’t family members sacrificed a lot for you? Now don’t get me started on that…

Yes, but then as we grow up, we have our own views about life. We can’t follow someone else’s views. With change in time, we have to change our views. We have to accept new culture and move with it. We can’t live in past. But these elders at home won’t understand this.

True that. But that is generation gap. You have to make them understand. You have to prove it to them that what you think is actually valid and safe. It takes time and effort but remember that will help you too, when you’re on the other side of the table.

Do you think I wouldn’t have tried? I have tried explaining them my point but they always take the discussion to that point where it is question of their respect and seniority. And hence, we cannot speak anything further. Besides, don’t you think you lose your freedom while living with them?

Freedom is a relative word. What you consider freedom might not be freedom for me. While I might just solve all conflicts with a simple discussion with my family. There’s nothing a discussion can’t solve.

Yes, but discussions do not always come to your favour. While if you had been staying alone, there would be no need of these discussions.

But don’t you feel lonely at times while staying alone?

Yes, but I miss my carefree and independent life more…

But…

Their arguments would never end…! And I don’t think they will ever come to a conclusion either.
… …

What about you? Which lifestyle do you prefer – Living alone or Living with a family? Say in comments…

Understanding ‘Try Try Till You Succeed’

How seriously should you follow the saying ‘Try Try till you succeed’?

An age old saying tells us to ‘try try till we get success in whatever we were attempting’. So, we should probably forget every other thing and just keep on trying to do that. We should not let a failure become hindrance in our efforts. We should move on, learning from our failures and doing better than before.

But till what time should we continue trying? The thought, like most economics theories, was made making reasonable assumptions of our lives. But in real life, our resources are limited and so are our options. We can’t just keep on trying without having money to try and without having food to feed to everyone in our house.

Any thought, you say it, isn’t a Rule of Thumb. It should never be blindly followed, no matter what. We should always keep our eyes open to see the world practically.

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Recently, results were declared for many educational exams, and while some may have soared into success, other might not have been that lucky.

The next big question that haunts them is- “Shall they try one more time?”. This question troubles almost every one who faces failure in their life. While it may seem obvious, the decision to try one more time is not so simple to take.

Apart from other social “burden” like family, marriage, society and comparison with others would harass us all the time, we need to think clear and ask ourselves- “Will my trying one more time, and the probable success worth the try and time?” “Or can I make something better out of the time and energy that I save from not trying one more time?”

A thorough analysis before answering these questions would definitely help taking better decisions than just following the saying ‘Try try…’ In my understanding, try try… signify that we keep on trying to do something good out of our efforts, and not to keep on trying on the same option that we were working on. Sometimes, our failure is just another opportunity to find some other opportunity. The only problem is we need to realize that and take a step, in another direction may be. You must hit a goal in Football, not necessarily from the same spot you failed to do last time.

So, people who have failed in their last attempt to something, do not just take one more try. Analyse your options, and quantify the cost & benefits of trying one more time. Take try try as a motivation to get up after each fall, but don’t keep on walking the same road if you don’t like it. There are many roads to walk on, even some yet not made, may be by you in future… 😉

Friends vs Friends

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The ball came bouncing at Grandpa’s head, while he was sitting in the garden reading his newspaper. He looked from his crooked specs at the boy, who came running behind the ball.

The boy said, panting, ‘Hi… Hi Grandpa… I… I am… Sorry. I couldn’t catch the ball… when it…’

Grandpa interrupted ‘Never mind.’

Then suddenly, he stopped reading and asked the boy with inquisitiveness ‘Why aren’t you playing with your friends today?’

The boy said sadly ‘I don’t have friends…’

Grandpa kept looking at him. The boy said ‘My friends are cruel. They tease me on things I don’t like even after telling them not to. If they are my friends, can’t they understand my simple request?!’

Grandpa said simply ‘May be they’re not your friends. Or maybe you are not theirs.’

Boy looked confused ‘People in my school have hundreds of friends. And my list is just one paper long! And in those too, no one cares for me. They always fight with me over the game and go away if I don’t let them touch my things… How do I know who’s my friend and who’s not?’

Grandpa smiled and said ‘So you too have fallen in the Friends vs. friends dilemma…’

Boy looked confused.

Grandpa continued ‘Dear son, listen carefully. Friendship is not a relationship. It’s a feeling that you share, be it in any relationship. A friend is like a cheerleader, who’ll always be right by your side, whether you need her or not. You don’t require to please someone to become their friends. Doing that only makes you vulnerable to people’s selfishness. Friends comes in all shapes and types, but they all make us feel alive. With them we don’t have to fake ourselves. We always have something to talk about and laugh on. Becoming friends with someone is just a matter of one incident, which makes you realize their worth. Lucky are those who get to face that incident before they lose their friendship…’

The boy said ‘But then, they always fight and leave someday…’

‘Yes. But that doesn’t mean you can’t call them back, does it?’ replied Grandpa with all his wisdom ‘Friends stick together, even after a fight, although with a punched face.’ and they laughed.

Continue reading

Almost… A Test Drive

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It was a summer afternoon and the sunlight was turning even my soul dark! 😛

I had not expected that in that scorching heat I’d find such a soothing experience… A fan!! (Actually, I convinced myself that the fan had helped me with the heat). So the real story goes like this…

On our way back to our office after having lunch, me and my colleagues saw an exhibition for a newly launched car. One of my colleague was planning to buy a car, so we went to check it out.

The car was placed in such a way that it would look stunning from each angle. People were examining it in all the ways – ogling her headlights, contemplating her design, checking out her interior, scrutinizing her comfort specs, and surveying her technical specifications from the representative.

My colleague started analysing the car too. A representative from the car company attended him and gave him a walkthrough about the car. After the briefing, my friend even tried his comfort inside the car by sitting on each of the seats.

All this while, I was standing peacefully in front of a fan. It was an amazing idea… A small water pipe with a tiny opening was attached just on the face of the fan. Due to that, constantly tiny water sprinkles were sprayed by the fan over the people. And in that heat, it gave an amazing cooling experience.

I was observing all the people around me. I wasn’t planning to buy the car and hence took no interest in the tour. But something else caught my eye… Or I should say – someone.

A simple, yet extraordinarily beautiful girl stood in front of me. She wore a simple white tee and blue jeans. She had her hair open. She moved with elegance that made a sharp impression. She talked in a manner that she could even convince a devil to be good.

She wore no makeup but just a little touchup over her lips. She wore a sports looking but classy watch and her nail paint had some sort of design. Her shoes were neat. And one couldn’t look more elegant than that.

She moved briskly from one person to other, offering them the template of the car and a gift from the company.

I didn’t notice her till she herself came to me. And after which, I couldn’t stand a second without noticing her. All the above observations were after we talked.

She came to me and said, giving me the gifts, – “This is for you… Sir.” The pause between her words and ‘Sir’ seemed deliberate.

I was totally occupied with her smile, but I managed to reply – “Thank you so much, but I am not planning to buy the car. You should instead offer these gifts to my friend over there who’s actually checking out the car…” (Ah! How can she smile like this!!)

She replied with a teasing smile on her face – “I know that. Your friend would also receive our gifts from someone else. But this one is for you… You keep it.” and she walked away, with her poking smile and her dangling hair…

I was so into her, her personality, her style, and that smile… that I couldn’t do anything after that… Yes… Nothing at all! (Yes I know I’m an idiot)

We exchanged a few glances after that. But she was busy attending the people and I was busy talking to my colleague, (or listening to him talk about the car features to me). I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but her. And then my colleagues took me from there and back to office.

But I couldn’t resist myself from thinking about her. Her smile – that would light up the night like the stars in the sky. All I wanted was to have one more chat with her. This time I wouldn’t be such a loser. But that ‘this time’ never came. I lost the opportunity and the opportunity lost me…

The exhibition was only for that day. I knew nothing of her – name, contact, nothing… Not even a sign that I could use to find her. That night, I kept on staring at the gifts she gave me. I thought, could it be different? I wished it to be… I wished it would’ve been more.

Another chance lost due to my sheepish manoeuvre of the situation. Another incomplete story.

A test drive, almost…