“I want my life to be like a movie!”

A small chat with (fictional) grandpa, and an advice about living life we ought not forget.

… …

xgikdy

I was sitting on my couch with TV remote in one hand and an expression on my face saying that I hated my life.

My Grandpa came in the room and sat on his chair. He watched me change the channel frequently which was almost every minute. Then he got up and went back to his room.

I was relieved thinking that another opportunity of talking with him was avoided. Phewww… I was bored already, spare me from yet another long lecture.

Soon after, he came out with his regular diary and started scribbling down.

I watched him for a while. He kept on scribbling something in his decade old diary. He did that a lot. And by a lot, trust me, a lot!

“Don’t you get bored doing that all the time?” I couldn’t resist myself from asking.

“Nope.” Said he without even looking up.

After another few minutes of changing the channels I asked him “How can you like your life when you have nothing exciting to do?”

He finished his last para without answering me anything. Then he kept his stuff aside and looked directly at me.

“It all depends on how you define excitement…”

I made a confused expression at him.

“Why do you think that there’s no excitement in my life?” he asked. His eyes behind his round glasses showed excitement already.

“All you do is roam around the house with no work to do. Half the times you keep on humming your old songs, which I don’t understand, and at times you write those stories and stuff in your diary. There’s no wow moment in your day or any shock moment at all. Sometimes you fall asleep sitting in your chair, which gets me so scared at times. Where’s excitement in all this?” I blabbered out.

“Is your life exciting enough for you?” he asked a question, keeping all my questions aside. I hated when he did that, but he will weave everything together I knew it.

“Nope. And that annoys me a lot. When I see in my past, there was lot of excitement all the time. New people to meet, new places to go, new things to learn… There was always something to look forward to. Now all I do is work all day long. There’s nothing to do on weekends but another kind of work. Nothing excites me. I miss da old times…” I said in a fashion, which felt weird afterwards.

He kept on looking at me for a while, then said “So how do you want your life to be like?”

I was waiting for this question. “I want my life to be filled with emotions and zest. I should not be having even a single second of boredom. One after other, there should be some or other adventure. Nothing should repeat in my life. Every new day should be a new episode of life. In a way, I want my life to be a movie…”

My eyes were gleaming with elation. My fantasies and dreams had rushed out of those tiny little imaginative eyes with a thrill on my face.

“Isn’t it already a movie?” he asked.

“No way! And even if it is, it is hell of a boring story!” I said.

“Hmm… You remember all of your days back in your past?” He asked.

“No. Just a few moments.” I answered.

“And why’s that?” he asked.

I wanted to say ‘How am I supposed to remember everything?’, but this was a trick question I knew it. So I just shrugged.

He continued “Your life is already a movie if you look at it. When you go back in your past, all you see is those moments which were extreme for you, be it anger, happiness or grief. You will remember only the best of episodes. And all the boring normal stuff will not come to your mind.”

“You feel bored in present. And fear that future will be more boring. You want twists and turns every minute in your life – like movies. But tell me one thing… How long is your favorite movie?”

“Around 3 hours…?” we both said together.

“And your life is stretched for more than 20 million times of that.”

He took a pause for letting me chew over that.

“You’ve not even reached intermission in your life. And you think that it’s boring already? If you scale down your whole life to 3 hours time, see how excitement fills up the empty spaces. It may not be as dramatic as an actual movie, but why don’t you make it that way?”

“My dear child, each one of us here… has a life like a movie story. Only the genre is decided by us. You like comedy, comedy it is. You like action movie, action it is. But if you stretch a movie to 70 years long life, there are bound to be empty spaces, boring frames in between. Accept that boredom and live on… Make the movie worth the ticket price.” 😉

He completed with a winking eye and went along humming his old song. I still couldn’t understand what he was singing, but yes, his words were engraved in my mind.

A Weird Dream Video

A dream where I was both the first person viewing the dream on my phone as a video, as well as the third person inside the dream video.

… …

I was feeling bored and lonely and depressed. My solitude was killing me. So I took the best anti-depressant medication – Sleep.

I wasn’t sleepy at that time, but I slept as soon as I started trying to sleep. And then a daydream started – as a video I was watching on my phone. The weird things was that I was in the video too.

When I woke up, I didn’t remember much out of it. There were many situations and cut-scenes, which were all hilarious, lovely and entertaining at the same time.

Although, I did remember bits and pieces from the dream. One scene was that there was something about me living with roommates and they giving me surprise over my something. And then someone saying something stupid and we all were laughing on it, while I spoke my usual sarcasm.

Then there was something about me gifting something to my mom. This was emotional which made me cry in the dream and even the me in the video was also crying. I was meeting my mom after a long time.

Then there was something about me watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S series as being a part of it. I mean the characters were from my own life, my own actual friends – having fun like they have in the series.

Then in another scene in continuation as the above one, I was upset about something and my best friend was trying to cheer me up. While other characters of my version of Friends were just – you know. Then Phoebe entered the scene, said something really funny and everyone left the room laughing. She told my best friend that she would help her cheer me up. Then she kissed her for more than a minute and then Phoebe said ‘Wait! Weren’t we cheering him up?’ And my friend said ‘We accidentally did.’

All these while, I tried to rewind the playback from the starting of those scenes. See, I was watching myself, and I was watching myself on my phone with an video playing app.

So I would touch the screen to move the playback slider to the beginning, but whenever I would touch the slider, it would show 00:00:00 – that is the slider would be at the starting point. And I wouldn’t be able rewind back to the point that I want to watch again. (You might very well know the point from where I wanted to watch again in all the above cases :P)

I desperately tried to move the slider back, I even pressed the ‘Previous’ button. But the video would just start from the then point and not the earlier point from where I want it to start.

And that my dear readers, that taught me a very serious lesson – to live in the present. We cannot change the past, not even in my dreams. We cannot relive those moments, no matter how much we love or hate them. They are gone. And all we have is today, now.

… …

When I woke up, I couldn’t get up for a while. Yes, the lesson was quite hard to take in, but I was more affected due to the fact that how did my brain make up such a nice plot, such a nice dream-movie with such a nice message along with the right amount of other things to spice it up a little! 😝

Little Business Ad’venture’

When and how did I carry out my first, small business venture…?

… …

Everyone loves money. And I was no different even at that age when I thought money was useful only to fill up my piggy bank. And filling it up fully was the only life goal under monetary category that one would have.

I had a small red colored miniature Post box shaped piggy bank. I used to hide it behind my old clothes on the top shelf of my cupboard. As a child, I thought that if I found it difficult to reach that spot then it was hard enough for anyone to find it. 😀

I usually never asked for things or stuff from my parents or anyone else, except for daily food needs. Toys, games, clothes, chocolates and ice-creams… I used to get them without any tantrum, or even demand. The reason was that I used to take great care of all my stuff. Even after all these years, I have got some of my stuff from childhood without any scratch. And due to this, my parents used to buy me things without my soliciting for it.

But I had strong preferences in things I accepted. They had to be best or of high value. I didn’t accept things that were cheaply made or were commonly found with every other child. Say for example, I didn’t accept toffees and cheap chocolates. I needed a 5-star instead. But still if someone would give me something that I didn’t quite like, I’ll put it to some good use, at least. Or I’ll give it to other kids when they come to my place to play with my toys, so that my other toys were not harmed. 😛

A fair (carnival) was set-up in our town. My dad and his friends were setting up a food stall in the carnival. And mother was probably gonna help them with that. I was bored at their stalls where we had to serve people the food instead of eating it ourselves. So, I used to sit at the nearby Toy stall. The person was a friend of my dad, so he let me sit there.

The carnival was gonna stay for five days. First day I just sat there looking at all the people who came to buy different toys. I understood one thing from that. For selling toys, we had to influence the kids and not the grownups. They would just do whatever the kids would obstinate for or do tantrum for.

I too wanted to sell stuff. I asked my parents to let me sell stuff in that toy stall. Our neighbors gave me a box full of whistles which were shaped like a-biscuit-thin-harmonica. All the reeds played the same tone, same whistle. I had a real harmonica back then, so I had no problem in selling them, as for me they were not of high standard. My neighbors didn’t accept any money from me for these. They wanted me to fulfill my desire of selling things in the carnival.

Next day, I came to the Toy stall with that box full of whistles. The store owner gave me a corner place just outside the store. I sat on a small chair in front of a small table on which I neatly stacked the whistles under rows of different colors. As I had no cost in acquiring the whistles, I thought 2 rupees would be an appropriate price for one whistle.

Families and kids used to pass from the toy store often. And kids would force their parents to visit the toy store to buy them some or other toy. Whenever some kid came in front of the store, I would play that whistle casually, without saying a word. The kid would instantly get lured of the whistle in my hand. I somehow managed to know how other kids were different from me and how they were easily tempted for things that they didn’t have and someone else had.

When the grownups would offer him things from the store, the kid would also point towards the tiny whistle thing that I was playing. And as it was way cheaper than the other things available in the toy store, the grownups wouldn’t hesitate incurring an additional expense.

Earlier I used to sell whistle to each customer of the toy store. Then slowly, kids came to the store only to buy my whistle. I slowly started to take over the business of the toy store owner. Kids were more interested in buying my whistle instead of his expensive toys, and parents too were not hesitant in buying their kids a cheap toy instead of shelling out more money on expensive toys.

I gave my last whistle to the toy store owner as a gift. In just three days, I sold all the whistles in stock and enjoyed the satisfaction of having my piggy bank full. 🙂 I was so happy that I showed it to all. I opened the lid of the miniature post box and showed them that it was full till the brim. The toy owner too said to my dad “This kid took away whole of my business with his tiny whistles!”

Later I found out that the whole box of whistle had cost my neighbors only Rs. 20. And there were some 40-50 whistles in the box, which I sold each at a price of Rs. 2. And I didn’t even had to incur the initial cost of Rs. 20, so my clear profit was full Rs. 80-100!

That was my first ever business venture at an age of around 9. And I was so happy…

P.s.: And now I feel ridiculous at work.

Understanding ‘Try Try Till You Succeed’

How seriously should you follow the saying ‘Try Try till you succeed’?

An age old saying tells us to ‘try try till we get success in whatever we were attempting’. So, we should probably forget every other thing and just keep on trying to do that. We should not let a failure become hindrance in our efforts. We should move on, learning from our failures and doing better than before.

But till what time should we continue trying? The thought, like most economics theories, was made making reasonable assumptions of our lives. But in real life, our resources are limited and so are our options. We can’t just keep on trying without having money to try and without having food to feed to everyone in our house.

Any thought, you say it, isn’t a Rule of Thumb. It should never be blindly followed, no matter what. We should always keep our eyes open to see the world practically.

——

Recently, results were declared for many educational exams, and while some may have soared into success, other might not have been that lucky.

The next big question that haunts them is- “Shall they try one more time?”. This question troubles almost every one who faces failure in their life. While it may seem obvious, the decision to try one more time is not so simple to take.

Apart from other social “burden” like family, marriage, society and comparison with others would harass us all the time, we need to think clear and ask ourselves- “Will my trying one more time, and the probable success worth the try and time?” “Or can I make something better out of the time and energy that I save from not trying one more time?”

A thorough analysis before answering these questions would definitely help taking better decisions than just following the saying ‘Try try…’ In my understanding, try try… signify that we keep on trying to do something good out of our efforts, and not to keep on trying on the same option that we were working on. Sometimes, our failure is just another opportunity to find some other opportunity. The only problem is we need to realize that and take a step, in another direction may be. You must hit a goal in Football, not necessarily from the same spot you failed to do last time.

So, people who have failed in their last attempt to something, do not just take one more try. Analyse your options, and quantify the cost & benefits of trying one more time. Take try try as a motivation to get up after each fall, but don’t keep on walking the same road if you don’t like it. There are many roads to walk on, even some yet not made, may be by you in future… 😉

Life – A Dream you get to Live

Dream on

Life is a Dream… And not all dreams come true. But are we watching right dreams?

I woke up to see a morning of desolation. I was unhappy with my profession, had nothing to do over the weekend, and was perpetually bored with everything about my life.

I was sipping my sun-view-balcony-coffee when my grandpa came out. ‘Awkward’ was my first thought.

After few moments of silence, he said – “So how’s everything working out with you? Living your dream?”

“Huh! My life sucks. All my dreams are just my mind’s imagination. There’s no magical world in real life. There’s no ‘living your dream’…” I said sulkily.

“And doesn’t that provoke you to dump those dreams, and live for real, instead?” he said.

Me: *Blank face*

He continued “Stop imagining your journey, live it in real. But don’t stop dreaming about your destination. And there you go… Your life would be same as your dream. Sooner or later.”

Looking at my stumped face, he smiled and left. I stood there replaying his words over and over again in my mind.

What this taught me was to stop dreaming that things will work out themselves. If I know my destination, then taking the first step is not enough. I’ll have to take lots of steps, several leaps and jumps to cross the hurdles. And that is not something to dream about. That is something to “do”.

Remember, Life’s the only Dream you get to live…

Watching through a child’s toy camera

I was walking on the road,
With my mind not in my control,
Seeing things around me but,
Cared none, nevertheless,
Like a child’s a toy camera,
I saw glimpses of unrelated Era,
Like a child I ran the reel,
Like a child, did I feel,
I wanted to live them again,
I wished I had a time machine,
But then a pup came by,
Wagging his tail, and a spark in his eye,
A smile spread through the desert on my face,
As I ran my hand through his furry little face,
He jumped on his feet, wanted me to play,
I picked a stick and ‘fetch’ I say,
We played for an hour or two,
Then he bid farewell and went on,
I saw him going without looking back,
Didn’t he feel to live the moment back?
He taught me a lesson to keep the memories alive,
But not to waste the present, wanting to go back,
As the present gives birth to all the memories,
If there is no present, you’d have no memories……

Dancing with (Un)known

image

It was last evening of Year 2015. I was sitting in my office and was waiting for the call from my friend about the confirmation for the night’s plan. My friend had invited me to join his group for the new year party.

He called and confirmed about the time, place and people invited. I knew no one except my friend. I agreed anyway…

It felt like ages since I had been happy or had lived my life fully after completing my studies and have joined the race of earning money. So, even if I had to join a group of complete strangers, I would not have resisted that night.

When we reached the spot, they recognized me; probably my friend would have told them about me. We introduced each other. I tried to get their names, but the music was too loud… 😛 I couldn’t think about anything else but to go inside and start jumping (my form of dancing :D)

I was about to dance on DJ music – something that I hadn’t done publicly since junior school. Incidents from past life had made me so that I couldn’t be myself in front of anyone…

With little hesitation in the beginning, I started dancing to the beats. It was easy to dance (which I am very bad at) in front of these people as I didn’t know anyone. I didn’t care what they will think about me. I didn’t care if they laugh at my bad steps. I didn’t care about anything but just letting myself go crazy. The beats created rhythmic waves inside me and I couldn’t stop enjoying myself. Oh yes I missed this…!

Soon the strangers turned out to be great friends and it never felt like we were meeting for the first time that night.

While I was dancing, a person from my behind nagged me. I turned around and she said “Can you dance away from me? You’re hitting me constantly!” in a language crude than this.

I apologized and switched places with one of our group member on the opposite side of our circle. After some time, I felt that hits again from my behind. When I looked back, it was the same girl with that same group. They moved all the way from one end to the other of our 12 people circle…! And not only that accused me for touching her, twice!!!

I switched place again. And inside I felt totally vulnerable. There was no one who would trust me that I didn’t do anything to her! Only my friends trusted me as they saw what happened. But what about others? Everyone around me would have thought that I was the bad person. Being a male, it was so easy to get accused of something (as everyone would have assumed that), and so difficult to accuse someone in the opposite gender (as no one would believe that such a thing can happen)! I wondered about women empowerment for a while and then continued dancing…

The night continued till early dawn. It had brought me thrill, laughter, silent smiles, understanding nods, shouts and shocks, chilly winter winds and satisfaction of the night. But above all, it brought me freedom from the fake self that I had build around me. It helped me come out of that closed box and live my life fully, without considering anything about people around me… It helped me overcome the fear of “What will others think?”.

As the countdown began, I rejoiced the change in me…

Truly, a ‘New’ Year for me… This year of mine is dedicated to breaking the rules that I made in my life, to breaking the boundaries created around me.

Happy New Year folks. 🙂