The Bird – Missing Someone

A series of stories of a bird who leaves his parents’ nest and moves on to live his life in his own way.

After leaving the house of his parents, the bird had set foot in the world of opportunities, which could both help him fly high or dump him right on the ground. While juggling his world with arranging his new nest and the new life, the bird feels the need of a companion, for the first time.

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Previous posts under this series:

The Bird – Finding a Nest

He had just returned from his morning flight. He loved flying over the town in the morning, just when the first ray of light touched the highest trees on the ground. All other birds would wake up after the sun was up enough to splash its sunlight on the ground. By that time, he used to make his trip.

He felt something he couldn’t explain in words, when the morning cold breeze and the new-born sunlight used to touch his feathers. He would just close his eyes, spread his wings fully apart and just go with the wind. And when he reached the end of his town, he would open his eyes and see the naked beauty of the sun, no buildings or man-made aesthetics to blur its beauty.

He cleaned his nest with a flap of his huge wings and settled back the twigs for the next night. Soon it will be time for going for the morning ritual – food, work, food, work and food, before it would be time for taking rest again. He watched other birds in the nearby nests. They had started to wake up.

He loved watching them wake up. It was half the reason for his early rise from his sleep. The birds around his nest used to wake each other up. Those staying alone used to show off their place and strength, in order to attract females and keep other males at bay. While some notorious ones used to invade other’s privacy by flying into other’s marked spaces. And it was just seconds that a fight would start between the owner and the encroacher.

But he didn’t like watching all that. He enjoyed watching the couples wake-up. It was an amazing sight, funny sometimes, and adorable too. One of them would wake-up and slowly caress, gently stroke the other’s head with its beak. The other would slowly open its eyes and the first thing it will see in the morning would be the his love in the eyes of its loved one. And then they would entwine themselves in the rickety ride of beak-lock, entangling their beaks and pushing each other up and down.

Gross! It used to be his first reaction to such acts of other birds. Rumbling inside other’s beak without the morning gargle! But then he felt something else too watching them. His heart used to slow down watching the scene. And a strange crunch would start out of nowhere in his stomach. Probably, he missed all this in his life.

During the day, he would think about how his life would be like if he also had a companion in his life. His early months after he left the house of his parents were hard. And he felt this dire need of being with someone. But he always pushed away those feelings thinking that he had to make his life first, and this was only temporary reaction of his mind upon leaving his parents. But then, those thoughts never stopped after more than a year from that time now.

He had met several people on his way to this town, before he finally settled at his current space in the corner of the balcony of an abandoned man-house. But none of them made him feel weak at heart. None of them were compatible to him. And he moved on easily from all the occasional beak-locks and making out times with some, he didn’t care enough to remember. But he was waiting for someone whom he would never let go. And that made him feel incomplete everyday.

In the evening, when he would return from his long flight of searching for food, having fought several fights with some annoying birds on the way, and finding his purpose of life, living his dreams, he would see the sunset, alone. He would sit on the chimney of the house, and watch the sun burn the last rays of light. He would extend his wings to touch the light as it would slowly rise towards the sky, leaving the ground to embrace the darkness and wait for another day, another morning when they will meet again. Although the sunset is always beautiful, he would feel low at heart having to watch it without someone by his side.

At night, he would arrange his extra twigs to form a structure of another bird, a portion around his side, and would close his eyes, letting his feathers feel the touch of another warm being, imaginary companion by his side. It was the only time during the day, other than the morning escapes, when he would actually smile without a reason…

After-all, the truth was harsh and he knew it. Life wasn’t all generous all the time. He understood he had to accept how things were in his case. Due to his nature, no one was ever gonna be with him forever. He wouldn’t let that happen…

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Living alone vs Living with a family

Living Alone vs Living with Family, which one would you prefer?

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When you live alone for long enough, you tend to develop mixed feelings for both these types of living habits.

I stayed away from my family for more than 5 years to complete my education. Thereafter, I have a job away from my family. However, mother or father or both do occasional visits to my place. And so do other relatives.

While I stayed with my family, I never had such thought in my mind. But now I am confused whether I like to stay alone more or with my family.

Look at my own-self argue with other regarding which lifestyle is better:

When we stay alone, we are totally free to do whatever we want. We can give our entire time to ourselves. There’s no one to give us any work, there’s no one to interrupt in our personal time.

While at the same time, there’s no one to talk to. There’s no one to take care of us when we are down with sickness or just depressed. There’s no one to look forward to when we are returning home. It feels lonely at times and depressing even.

But when we stay with our family, we can’t watch whatever we want on TV. Sometimes your favorite show coincides with that of someone in your family. (No you don’t have another TV and neither do you have recording facility). What if there’s someone elderly and their views about something are not the same as yours? What if all they talk about is God and your marriage? It’s better to stay alone than to handle this.

But then whom would you tell all the incidents from today? Whom would you play games with? Whom would you show the profile of your crush and ask for some ideas to approach her? Whom do you ask for a warm hug when you need it so dearly?

But then they invade your room without your permission! They keep on asking weird questions and annoy you. They use your things and change their places. They put their views above yours b’cuz they are elder. Their needs become your priority above your own personal pass time. Your free time gets occupied by their activities.

Nevertheless you were not going to do something great in that free time, were you? You were going to watch some stupid movie or waste your time organizing your library. Or you were going to go through all your friends’ updates and feel miserable about your life.

But then you missed that movie with your friends as you had to take your elder shopping. You missed your night out with your best friend as your family won’t allow you to do that. You couldn’t arrange that match at your house as your grandma won’t like it.

Yes, but no one is stopping you from enjoying. Family deserves your time too. And you can have lots of fun moments with your family too! And you can always mix your family and friends to enjoy events.

But you can’t enjoy the same way as you enjoy with your friends alone.

Vice versa applied too…

Yes but then there are lots of restrictions.

You consider them restrictions. They are only guidelines. For your own safety. And when we live with someone we have to take care of their needs to. Don’t your family takes care of you in all circumstances?

They do. But we don’t have to sacrifice our desires with friends.

Oh is it? Don’t you have to go with them even when you don’t want to? Doesn’t deciding a place to hangout makes you sick with all those arguments and discussions? Don’t you miss your brother or sister more when your friend doesn’t help you with something? You sacrifice in case of friendship too. And haven’t family members sacrificed a lot for you? Now don’t get me started on that…

Yes, but then as we grow up, we have our own views about life. We can’t follow someone else’s views. With change in time, we have to change our views. We have to accept new culture and move with it. We can’t live in past. But these elders at home won’t understand this.

True that. But that is generation gap. You have to make them understand. You have to prove it to them that what you think is actually valid and safe. It takes time and effort but remember that will help you too, when you’re on the other side of the table.

Do you think I wouldn’t have tried? I have tried explaining them my point but they always take the discussion to that point where it is question of their respect and seniority. And hence, we cannot speak anything further. Besides, don’t you think you lose your freedom while living with them?

Freedom is a relative word. What you consider freedom might not be freedom for me. While I might just solve all conflicts with a simple discussion with my family. There’s nothing a discussion can’t solve.

Yes, but discussions do not always come to your favour. While if you had been staying alone, there would be no need of these discussions.

But don’t you feel lonely at times while staying alone?

Yes, but I miss my carefree and independent life more…

But…

Their arguments would never end…! And I don’t think they will ever come to a conclusion either.
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What about you? Which lifestyle do you prefer – Living alone or Living with a family? Say in comments…

From 20 to 50 in 6 months

“Are you alive or just waiting to die?”

I was driving to my office and saw this billboard on the way about some Club or something. But the line above got marked in my brain.

I kept thinking about my daily life. How was it before 6 months and how it has turned out now… I was supposed to be happy – I had cleared my professional course in stiff 3% passing result, I had a job in a reputed company and life was smooth. But I didn’t feel ‘happy’ at all!

People now wish me, congratulate me, that I have achieved things in 20 years of age and I should be proud of that. I felt happy to hear all that. But then, again I thought about it… Do I actually feel like being in early 20’s?

From a student, all of a sudden, I was transformed to an employee; from a boy to a man… Earlier people used to smile at me when I would be watching ‘Tom & Jerry’ on Cartoon Network or playing GTA Games on my PC. And now, when I speak of it, they give me weird looks! Earlier, I used to roam with friends and they used to say “He likes exploring!” And now when I do that, they say “Don’t roam like a Vagabond! Concentrate on your job!”

Talking of planning my life, I used to plan my weekends with family and friends, parties and hangouts! Now I plan my income statement, my goal of buying a home, car and other stuff for me and family…on weekends! Earlier, my mornings used to be fresh, I used to come out of bed without any help of alarms, I used to walk out to my balcony and watch the pigeons make funny movements with their heads and tried to imitate them for hours! And now, it has been months that I had been to my balcony (except to dry the clothes).

I lost half a dozen of my friends (as I used to call them), b’cuz they think that I have developed ego on getting a job and all, and that I do not find it fun to spend time with them or even give them a call. But no one asked me once that whether I am free enough to talk even to my parents at the end of the day? Am I happy enough that of how things have turned out? They say that at least I could have forwarded a message! But none of them remember, I have never done it, even before when I was free all day…

At night, I used to watch movies and then sleep, dreaming in my dream world about my angel and superpowers and stuff… And now, I hardly dream about anything! I usually get up surprised in the morning that how come it dawned so quickly!

In school, we were told to study hard, that we could have fun after school. After school, there were grades to look forward to, fun was not the priority even then. And then came college, which was totally not like we see in movies or comedy series. And then the professional course never let us remember the fun once we wanted to have in our lives.

And now, after all the busy years gone, I appeal to have some fun, I get the remarks that now the time to have fun is gone! That my life has shifted to a new gear and that I will have to maintain that seriousness in life! That now I am a grown up. And that I should start acting like one…

And I’m like – “Hey! WTF! I missed something here…!!!”

I feel like I have grown up from 20 to 50 in just 6 months… Or the society and parents and relatives and teachers made me grow old so quickly.

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Did you feel while reading the post that I was speaking all from inside you? Do you feel the same?

People tell us that we can have fun while working and having our responsibilities… I ask them, do you really mean that? Will it be the same as it was before?

They say that the sooner you accept the reality, the happier you’ll be! I ask, will it be happiness, will it be satisfaction? Or just a compromise…

If at all there is a way we can reverse the clock, where would you want it to stop? I would like it to start from the early days, when we were not crushed by responsibilities. I would take responsibilities with me while having fun…

Time is never enough. But it is, as much, in our control.

Missing Holidays

“Tomorrow’s a holiday…!”

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Did that bring a smile on your face? Ya..?! Good.. But did that bring excitement in your eyes..? Did you shout loudly when you came back home declaring to your family members that it is free day tomorrow? Did you sleep dreaming about the next day, the day you were eagerly waiting to come..? Did the “!” mark at the end of the statement actually gave any exclamation to us? No.. Right?

Now remember the days in your childhood where all of the above happened! If you had a Facebook account at that time, you’d have actually posted about your holiday! 😀

But as we grow up and as we burden ourselves with the social and professional environment, we tend to feel lesser and lesser excited about holidays. All it remains is A Day we can have rest or we can complete our pending tasks from our To-do list…

We feel stressed and overburdened on holidays. As we don’t take holidays as fun but as another task to be completed. Our professional life has turned us into a task-achieving-machine who feels not or dreams not about anything else.

And… For those poor souls… Who are void of work-life balance at their office, would still be there working on their computer at office on holidays! So for them, obviously, Holidays bring no excitement…

We didn’t actually do anything important or productive as we say now, during those holidays. We just let our heart enjoy the moment. We didn’t make a plan for how we would spend the whole day! We used to just do whatever came to our mind!

But what we do now?! We plan for holidays. We plan how we would take leaves so that we end up getting more days off.

And I can bet that you’d agree that unplanned holidays were way more fun that our new planned-organized-booked-holidays.

I’m missing that time when holidays were much more fun…

What happened to that?

This time, I’m gonna take you to this jolly ride to our childhood and bring you back to your present reality…

 

Remember those times when we used to be kids? We used tocommunicate using signs, screams, and eyes. “Communication process was taught to us in school. But didn’t we know that already? We used to communicate with our parents, nurses and caretakers well. We didn’t speak, but we used to communicate to those even then using gestures, postures and nonverbal communications.

Remember when we learnt speaking for the first time, we used to jumble the words, speak incorrect pronunciation, use incorrect grammar… But they ignored our mistakes taking us an innocent child. When we grew up, we learnt other new languages, but this time, while using this new language, our mistakes were punished by our teachers. Why? Aren’t we in the same situation as that of a child who is learning a language for the first time?

We used to play Cricket. We used to manage each one of the heterogeneous but useful eleven players. We leaded them, motivated them that we could beat even the strongest opponents. We used to bat, bowl and even field! We used to be all rounder. We fought to get that first batting. We did all our hard work to get position of ‘Captain’. We even got involved into politics to confirm winning for our team! We used to negotiate our number in the batting order with the captain. We used to bully others when we could and even influence others (with false sentences) who bullied us!

We were applying all these arts of communication since childhood.

But then, what happened to us by the time we turned into an adult?

Why do we fear speaking to a huge crowd? Why do we have to attend those seminars and lectures? After all, we did well while we were kids.

Remember when we used to fly kites on festival of ‘Uttrayan’? We used to run behind falling kites. Without breaking the eye-contact with the kite, we used to jump across the terraces, run across the streets, uneven road and pebbles, stones, ditches.. But never did we endanger our lives. We were totally aware of our potential and the hurdles in between, with which we calculated our odds and went for the action. What happened to that kid who was so confident, multitasking and having great judgement?

Remember the time when we played marbles? (Kanche/goti/lakhoti?) How we used to focus on the 2 cm diameter marble from about 2 meter distance, ignoring all the noise that distract us around, all the teasing comments that other players pass, all the vehicles and pedestrians… Now we take classes for increasing our concentration, attend several seminars to increase power of our brain. What happened to the concentration and focus that that kid had?

Remember on the occasions, birthdays, marriages, etc. We used to sing a song, dance, mimic and entertain on request of those strangers. We never felt humiliated, never did we fear the ridicule, and never did we had any stage fear! Then what happened to us? How did we end up in this kind of situation that we have stage fear, fear of ridicule? How did we start feeling shy? How nervousness started taking our toll?

We have forgotten what we were once and are running behind the so called “education” that is screwing us in the worst way! We pay several bucks just to remember back what we already knew.

The kid was never shy, never nervous in speaking out, blabbering out anything and everything, without knowing the correct answer. But then he entered the “classroom“. There he was taught a lesson… The time when he was asked a question, he innocently replied whatever he thought was the answer. The teacher scolded him for his mistake. Other fellow students laughed at his ridiculous answer. He was punished to sit at he last bench for the whole day. He learned (not the answer, but) that he should never answer if he is not sure of the answer! And from then, the fear of ridicule started…

Then he moved to the next level in school, where he was asked to speak on the stage. He spoke as he used to when he was a child and he used to blabber in front of the crowd in functions. But then he was again laughed at for his nonprofessional attitude and childish behavior! He was punished for use of fun in public speaking! He was taught another lesson that he can’t speak in public. From there fear of public speaking started…

His self-confidence was hurt when he was ridiculed at while public speaking on the stage on some stupid topic, he never cared about.

He never desired to her ranks and fame. He just wanted knowledge. But school teachers forced him to do more, more than he already did, so that he could get rank and that would bring fame for the school. He became proud and more arrogant upon getting those ranks. But then in the real world, people showed him that ranks were not important for making friends. Ranks were not important for getting job. He was anguished at his condition. The fear of failure started creeping inside him.

Over the period he grew adult, all his communication skills and confidence corroded. He was very vulnerable to social perils and had zero public exposure. He was reserved personality. He was shy and timid. He was too arrogant and pessimist. And it would be wrong to say that he was like this, because he was made like this! School days made him like this.

I would urge to the schools and teachers that please stop screwing with the lives of young minds! If you can’t make their future, stop ruining their present!

Einstein once told “I was born intelligent, education ruined me!” Now I think he was right.