Small Bites with Family: Accidental Booze

A series of funny and interesting incidents that happen with me and my family.

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Previous posts under the same series:
This time it’s gonna be about the time when you accidentally drink infront of your parents…
What happens when someone offers you a vodka shot and you take it openly, without realizing that someone is watching you… πŸ˜›
… …

Now for those of you who found this title weird and think that what’s wrong in doing this, kindly consider that I come from a dry state and here no one would have ever seen me drinking before.

So this happened when I had gone to a different state for giving my presence in my sister’s wedding. This state doesn’t have restrictions on drinking and it’s very normal for people to drink.

It was sangeet night, the night when there’s open battle of dancing between bride’s side and groom’s side. Battle is namesake, everyone just wants to enjoy and dance.

We were on the dance floor and we almost had forgotten where we were and who all were watching us. Our concentration was mainly on dancing and impressing people in nearby vicinity.

But then suddenly, someone from our group comes with a bottle of water and offers it to everyone while drinking it himself. Being from a dry state, you never suspect a water bottle and humbly accept it with gratitude. So did I while taking a big gulp from the bottle, till that person took it away from me.

But as the vodka drains down your throat and every thing it touches heats up, you know that it’s too late… In my case, I came to know it a little later when it has successfully landed on my stomach bed.

I ignored it and kept dancing. Good thing is that a few gulps doesn’t do any harm / good to me. I stay sober nonetheless. I didn’t see anyone around me. But back in my mind, I knew that everyone had seen me drink from that bottle.

When my eyes accidentally met my mom’s, she immediately gestured me to come down the dance floor and talk. And I knew it will be a serious talk.

I somehow managed to keep a calm face, innocence on it. As I didn’t suspect the water bottle to contain anything else than water, so I couldn’t be held guilty, I thought.

She asked me did I drink anything that anyone else offered? This was a truth test. I passed. I told her what happened, exactly as it happened. She warned me to not accept anymore drinks from anyone as there it was normal for those people. I silently obliged…

I went back to the dance floor, handled the repercussions of the vodka on my body and danced my heart out. Again, everyone around me was a bit drunk, and ditzy. Whereas, I was sober, as far as dizziness is concerned. We all danced like maniacs, but the thought came to my mind afterwards that people might have thought that it was vodka that made me dance crazy…

When I came back from the dance floor, ready to leave the party, I felt thirsty. I grabbed a water bottle from a nearby waiter. My mom instantly snatched it from me and tasted it herself to check that it was actually water. I smiled at her while taking back the bottle, but I was thinking… How different people see a particular act, when they come from a different background and environment!

Anyways, the night went well, and vodka gulp didn’t have any visible effect on me. Fingers-crossed…

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Moments of Dumbness

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Imagine a situation where you and your girlfriend go to watch a movie. And one of your friends, who has also come to watch the movie, to your dismay, calls you, loudly in the hall. You turn and say hey. And he says β€œHey! Wha’up here?”.
(Such an ad has also been made)

You look around for something heavy to answer his dumb question, or to put it right, to hit him on his face. πŸ˜›

In your life you’d have faced many such dumb questions. Sometimes, these questions will give you itchy hands (a desire to beat them up) and other times, it will just make you feel sick. But if we recollect those times, they feel stupid and totally hilarious.

So here I serve you with some Dumb Questions that I have survived…

We Gujuratis have a custom or habit to meet people with a positive assumption of their well-being. Hence instead of asking them how they are, we ask them whether they are having fun. (“Majama?”)

I was sick and was tied to bed by my mother and the doctor. People usually come and pay visit when you’re ill. So different people came in my room in different get ups and having different expressions, but with same question – “Having fun?” (“Majama?”).
O.o

How can I be! I was moving from sickness of body to sickness of boredom, and all I could do was smile to answer their dumb question…

I was having a hard time waking up. The sleepiness was not loosening its hold on me. I went to the bathroom and came back after a few minutes. I took my towel and clothes and was going inside the bathroom that someone in my house asked me -“Done bathing or what?”
O.o

Wasn’t it obvious?

After a hard day at office, I finally gathered the strength to stand up and leave for my bed, which was incidentally at my home. I opened the gate of the front door with bag on my shoulders and keys in my hand (and desperation on my face), that my boss called me from behind – “Are you leaving?”
O.o

No, he had no work or no such intention to keep me put for some more time. He himself was leaving behind me. But sometimes, there’s no limit to dumbness.

I was travelling from market place to home. On my way, I met an old friend of mine. He wanted to go somewhere and needed a lift. But the way he asked for lift was very frustrating…

Friend: “Hey! ‘Sup? All well?”
I replied casually.
Friend: “So where are you going?”
I said I was going home.
Friend: “So how would you go there?”
O.o

I was riding a bike, so definitely I was not going to park my bike aside and take a long walk with him…!

It was raining. I was fully drenched in water. But as I had no umbrella or raincoat or anything with me, I had no other option but to get washed in the rain along with my bike.

I reached office on time, but fully soaked and soaped, thanks to the acidic rainwater causing lather. I was struggling with my bag and leaking clothes to walk as normally as I could. But the quirky office shoes made some crunching noise that all my efforts to walk unnoticed to my desk were washed away (in the rain, of course).

One of my colleague came to me, laughing, and said – “Hey! What happened!? Why all soaked up!?”
O.o

I wanted to answer ‘I had a nice dip in a swimming pool filled with fruit beer!’ but ended up shrugging my shoulders…

It is said by someone great that when you want to reach somewhere in hurry, the whole universe conspires against you to put hurdles on your way…

I was very late for my meeting and, as if this wasn’t enough, my bike got a flat tire.

I was dragging it with me, as that was not a safe place to park it. I was searching for a garage. I asked a person at a tea stall if he knew a garage nearby. He looked at the flat tire and then answered – “No I don’t happen to know any garage nearby. What’s the issue? Puncture?”

I said – “Nah! It is just my hobby to suck out all the air from the tire and take the bike for a ride. Good exercise you see!?” and moved on… (Yes, this time I said it)

Now this one here is epic!

I was in the water closet. It took a little more time than normal as I was wearing formals and I was having difficulty in tucking in my short length shirt (Now that I think about it, I don’t understand it either :D).

When I came out of that door, my boss was standing at his desk and looking over the desks, searching for me of course. He called me and asked – “Where were you?”
O.o

You might not have got the dumbness yet. Let me explain it to you. The way to lavatory in my office is one way and visible to all eyes sitting anywhere across the hall, including my boss. So, when I walked out through that door, things were pretty simple for a dumb person to understand where was I and what was I doing. But my boss is not that dumb πŸ˜›

After my reply there was another epic question – “All this time?”
O.o

When it comes to talking with child, we must leave our brilliant minds aside and talk childish. But sometimes, even grown ups ask children such questions that they are left face-palming.

I was traveling. Besides me was a family with a child, probably of 10. She was inquisitive and kept on asking different questions.

A lady sitting next to the family asked that little girl – “What class are you studying in, little princess?”

The girl replied – “Mummy, tell this lady that I don’t talk to strangers.”

Her mother smiled at the lady and said – “My baby! How do you know she’s a stranger? You don’t know her yet!”
O.o

The girl looked stumped. She looked around rolling her eyes, which then fell on me. I winked at her and gesturing that her mother’s a dumb. She smiled back and nodded in approval. πŸ˜€

We talked several child-teen-little-sister-big-brother stuff that night of overnight journey. πŸ™‚

When it comes to dumbness, no one is exempted – not even me πŸ˜›

I used to see planes passing over my house at night. One day I asked my mother – “Mum, why doesn’t this plane collide with the moon when it passes from it?” O.o

I thought sky was like earth, a huge ground opposite to our earth, with moon being a protruding reverse bowl on the ground (a hemispherical mountain) with lots of street lights on it… πŸ˜€

(Don’t laugh like that! I didn’t even know how to spell moon then, way before pre-school) πŸ˜›

Did you have such moments of dumbness in your life? πŸ˜‰

Small Bites with Family

A series of funny and interesting incidents that happen with me and my family.

… …

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It’s festive time. After a long time, I got to visit my parent’s place.

It was lunch time. In the main hall, my father and I were watching the match. My mother entered the scene and asked us – “You guys ready for lunch?”

Instantly, me and my father, without seeing each other or planning or discussing, came down from the sofa on the floor and sat in the Indian position of sitting on the floor, being ready to eat.

And my mother gave an astonishing smile watching both of us do the same thing at the same time! πŸ˜€

If you could imagine that scene, and could see the expression on her face, that was a priceless moment.

In this post, I am sharing such little moments with my parents, which are sweet and funny at times.

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I fell asleep while studying. My mother came in and saw me sleeping on my reading table, my mouth open and a pen in my hand.

She came to me and started waking me up. Dad came in and said “Let him sleep. He would have been tired of all the studying.”

I was already awake. πŸ˜‰ However I stayed put, listening to their conversation…

Dad lifted me and put me to bed. Mom put the blanket on me. And then they saw me for a while and left the room.

That way I got to know how I used to wake up on my bed, while have slept at different places in my childhood, practically. πŸ˜›

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I was not able to sleep. God knows what was wrong, but every time I got a little dizzy, some weird nightmare would spoil it.

So I went to their room. They were asleep. I slept in the little space available between them. Instantly my dad put his warm hand on my head and mom put her comforting arm over me.

Needless to say, I slept like a baby (6 ft long baby that is) πŸ˜€

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It was the day I was returning home after a long time. And I didn’t tell them that I was coming home.

I knocked at the door in the way the milkman does in the morning. I imagined them telling each other to answer the door, while in sleepy mood in the morning. πŸ˜‰

Then mother came at the door with a utensil in her hand. πŸ˜€

—–

Dad was busy with his smartphone. Mum was busy with her smartphone. I was bored. So I planned a prank…

I clicked mum’s weird expression holding her phone, and sent it to dad. And clicked same for dad and sent it to mum.

Then they both saw it and laughed at the same time. I laughed too. So they looked at each other and then at me. They understood what just happened and I knew I was in trouble… πŸ˜€

—–

Mum was in the kitchen, cutting the salad.

I went in the kitchen and while talking to her, picked up a few pieces of carrot and ate them.

Then my dad went inside and did the same thing. And we both repeated this one after other when my mum shouted – “Both of you, stay out of kitchen or cut the salad yourself.”

We three laughed on that ‘cuz then she too ate a few pieces. πŸ˜›

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It was Diwali time. My dad had brought sweets for us.

After about two days, he went to check on those sweets, but found an empty box. πŸ˜›

He exclaimed – “Empty in just two days!! I couldn’t even taste one!”

Me and mum looked at each other and smiled evil… Now whenever he brings something new, he first tastes it and then puts it in the storage. πŸ˜€

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On Diwali, we prepare Rangoli at our place. But my mum and I both hate preparing the initial design. So we wait for dad to do it. Dad gets bored of it too, as he had to do it everytime. So he too shifts the work upon us.

Then in the end, it gets too late and we are left with little time. So, all three of us start doing the work together. And during that, me and mum ‘help’ dad some way, and dad, poor guy, has to fix everything that we have helped spoiling. πŸ˜€

—–

In summer, noon time on weekends is movie time at home. But dad always gets hold of the remote of the TV. So we have to watch what he wants to watch.

So, mum goes and sleeps on one of his hand. Then I do the same on his other arm. πŸ˜‰

Now both his hands are occupied, and the remote is free of his hands. Mission accomplished! The TV is in our control now… πŸ˜€

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After washing our hands, it’s time to dry them. But what if we can’t find the napkin?

That’s when I go to my mother and hug her. While hugging, her dupatta comes to my rescue. πŸ˜‰

And dad does the same thing. He goes to her, talks to her about something, and while talking uses the dupatta and walks away silently. πŸ˜€

Mother knows, but she only smiles at both of us… Silly.

—–

In my childhood, me, mum and dad used to travel in one single bike. I used to sit between them.

At times, when we travelled at night or during winter, I used to stick close to dad, as he is all weather warm. My mum used to hug me and dad together.

But dad has no one to do that. So to have some jealousy-fun, he used to stand up while riding the bike. So, all the cold wind used to come directly on my face.

Then I would do the same. I would stand up on the bike holding daddy. Now, all the wind would flow directly to mum. And now would be her turn. πŸ˜›

Riding together was so much fun…

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It is fortunate to have a family… Love yours, no matter how weird they are.