Things that get on my nerves…

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Not in so distant past, I read a message which so aptly fits our lives nowadays.

I love everyone…
Some I love to talk to..
Some I love to meet..
Some I love unconditionally..
And some I love to punch in their face..!

So I thought of making a list – ‘what makes me really angry / annoyed of something’… And I think it will never end πŸ˜›

But still for fun, here’s an abstract:

– When female gender fights on senseless issues;

– When my roomie forces me to wake up to open / close the door for his awkward movements from the house, spoiling my sleep;

– When I’m trying to relieve myself from nature’s call, and the phone starts vibrating in my pocket;

– When I’m driving peacefully in my speed on the side of the road and someone first overtakes me and then slows down his vehicle to take a turn, which forces me to slow down unnecessarily;

– When I wash my bike and take it for a ride, park it somewhere, and come back to find pigeon shit on it;

– When it is a weekend morning and I wake up to find a message from my boss “Today, we are working…”

– While trying to get the cream out from the pack, after several failed attempts, a huge amount of cream burps out of nowhere;

– At the traffic signal without timer, when it is actually green time for our adjacent side, the person behind me starts blowing horn;

– When somebody takes (steals) away the cleaning mop from my bike;

– When I’m trying to sleep and the door bell or mobile ringtone rings every now and then;

– When my boss asks some stupid question to me and then passes the blame to me to cover up in front of his boss just because I’m his junior;

– When my boss gives me some “urgent” work at the day end;

– When all the important / urgent meetings are scheduled on weekends;

– When Maps app doesn’t work in times when I’m at some unknown place and really need maps direction;

– When people wake up the whole neighborhood in doing their prayers or celebrating their functions / festivals;

– When the mobile battery dries up just when we are about to say something important on a phone call;

– When the downloading process, completed above 90 percent, fails and restarts;

– When the shopkeeper gives me some cheap toffee instead of change;

– When people try to judge me without any concrete base;

– When I’m listening to my favorite track on my mobile and it gets interrupted due to a call;

– When the tree that I always parked my car under gets cut away;

– When websense blocks some useful website; (which is all the time)

– When government officials ask for bribe, even after having enough salary out of our tax money, and even after getting bribe, they never do their job right;

– When the person sleeping next to me burps in sleep;

– When someone driving ahead of me spits from his window and the shit flies on to me;

– When in the swimming pool, someone swimming with me throws his nausea into the water side lines;

– When I’m eating my food and someone calls me unnecessarily;

– When the parking guard asks me to park my car at some other place after I’ve already parked it;

– When I’ve to accompany a person to shopping;

– When different government departments asks for same data again and again for different cards that I don’t want, but have to take compulsorily;

– When it’s the Sunday morning and someone comes and wakes us up;

– When we have just started kissing and there’s a phone call or knock at the door;

– When the female gender never puts the phone down / never ends the conversation;

– When I’m watching a movie (in the theatre) and someone who’s already seen it keeps on giving his commentary (you too my friend);

– When I’m in a line, waiting for one person to complete the sale and the other line besides me completes wholly;

– (Old one) when my Mario died at the last stage of a level due to plug of the gamepad being removed by me, accidently, in excitement; πŸ˜€

– When the soap keeps on slipping out of my hands while bathing;

– When friends say that “You never talk / you never remember”… When they themselves never do, and when they are in circumstances to do and I’m not!

P.s. Writing things that make you angry subsidizes your anger. Try out…by adding your things in the comments πŸ˜‰

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Yaaaaawwn!

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Yawn… They come at such silly moments that we are left exposed to other people. So hard we try to stop them, yet they force us to open our mouth in so weird manner that we are left apologising after that.. Awkward!

You all must have faced such situations in your life, where you are trying so hard, with all your might and concentration. But your yawn always overpowers you! And the show ends with a howling sound or some weird smelly air or just laughing bunch of people who die laughing at your facial architecture at the time of yawning…

My yawn report starts in the classroom… I am sitting on the first bench. The teacher is teaching us something, in her usual monotonous and low voice. I knew that my yawn will ruin her low tone and buy me some free trouble. So I looked sideways, outside the window and yawned with my hand covering my mouth. But accidentally the sound of my yawn came out.

That was it… My teacher heard it and gave me punishment to stand outside the classroom. I started leaving the class. On my way, I decided to apologize to my teacher. I said “Sooooooooaaaaaawwwwwrrry”! Again, in front of the whole class I yawned with that “aaawww” pattern. I just ran outside the class to wash my face then without looking at my teacher…

Similar situation arises in family get-together. All uncles and aunties talk all nonsense things which you have to listen. Then all of a sudden, your eyes starts watering and your breathing gets slower. If they look at you, that can understand that it was a yawn that you stopped from coming out which resulted in such situation.

But the problem with Yawns is that they grow bigger and wilder on hiding them or suppressing them. So this time, some or other of your family member would see you yawning and the game’s over…

Imagine you’re with your girlfriend on a date. You have planned the night in the most romantic manner to get her on. You’re sitting in a restaurant, hands in hands and eyes locked. Both having butterflies in belly that what would happen tonight…

You encourage her to talk about something, anything. (Cuz being a Man, you have scarcity of topics to talk about). She starts talking…

From one topic to other, from her puppy to her aunt, from her friend’s dressing sense to her neighbour’s deo, she shares everything with you. In your mind you regret your decision to ask her to talk. It was better that way when you were just staring at each other, holding hands. But now it was too late to regret. It was impossible to stop her…

Now all you can do is pray – Pray that the same old enemy of yours “Yawn” doesn’t bounce up from nowhere and ruin the night that you so eagerly are waiting for. But, speak of devil and devil’s here. You suppress your yawn by hard pressing your lips together. But still your girlfriend notices a sudden watering in your eyes. She asks you what happened which you cleverly avoid by saying something romantic.

You start drinking water to avoid the yawn from returning. But, again a few minutes later, your yawn comes up with greater force. This time, being impossible to stop it, your mouth opens to the fullest and then slowly closes by releasing huge amount of air. You somehow manage to avoid the sound, cuz you were in a public place and you didn’t want to disturb others. But no use! Your girlfriend noticed it this time and is shouting on you that you are not interested in her at all… Your night dreams are just dreams now!

Parties… So great place where people meet and talk… But when there’s talk, there can be boring talks and where there are boring talks, yawns would come up to help you spoil the day…

It is your friend’s wedding. Party at night. You gather to have a group photograph to cherish your memories… The photographer says “Cheeeeeeze”. Just when everyone else was smiling and the photographer was to click the snapshot, you yawn. You try hard to avoid it by pressing the lips tight. But still, your facing expression are no where similar to that when we say “Cheeeeeze”… Speaking about memories, yes, photograph had captured the memory, but it turned out embarrassing instead of loving one…

Even when you’re the best man at your friend’s wedding. You’re going the best man’s speech, and when the yawn creeps in to your mouth making you words sound like gas bombs to everyone…! Don’t know about humor in your speech, but people will laugh for sure…

The most dangerous and deadly yawns comes at office. You’re in the meeting with all the senior executives sitting in front of you. You people are discussing about some hot issue concerning your organization, the solution of which is so importantly needed. Everyone is tensed and everyone is bored… (cuz they know – sitting in this closed air-conditioned room and swiping the slides won’t solve anyone’s problem!) Your boss is briefing you about some serious issue that you are going to tackle. Just when he is about to ask you your views, the Yawn in your mouth expands the space between you lips to their fullest and you stand there embarrassed in front of the whole herd of bosses… It’s time to forget your promotion dreams this year!

Yawns are natural. They can come up anytime, anywhere. But the humans have made up their minds that a person yawning means he is not interested in that day’s play – which may not be true. We try to avoid Yawns, but they are not supposed to be avoided. Talking scientifically, yawn helps you in regaining the Oxygen needs of you body in one big stretch. Which if you avoid is going to affect your heart’s pumping exercise…

But socially, Yawns brings distrust and annoyance from audience. So better learn some way to yawn in public, cuz they are going to come up at unusual times, ready to spoil you night, ready to give you embarrassing moments… πŸ˜›

P.S.: Even when writing this post, I yawned a dozen times… πŸ˜‰ But my friend’s request is to be honored, no matter what…

Go on.. You may Yaaaaawwn at your heart’s request now.. Now that you’ve read the post.. πŸ˜›