While I have had several such occasions where I almost had a love story, but every time it was pretty clear how the things were going on. But in this particular case, I got ridiculed every time I thought I understood her.
So here it goes…
I didn’t see (read as notice) her for several days since we got acquainted. It was at her birthday that I first stopped to take a good glance at her. When I wished her, she returned her thanks with a pleasant smile on her face, that was when I got fascinated the way she carried herself.
But soon that tide passed away and things got normal.
Then one day, I had a chance to communicate with her for more than a few minutes, and the discussion was pure professional work. But her personality enchanted me. Apart from being a pretty face, she also had sharp observation and a smart approach to everything she did.
Soon we started communicating more and I got to know her creative side. And I started opening up myself to her. But then, suddenly on one bloody day, it all went back to the day we started. As if I had just time traveled into past, our confab just stopped. She would reply if I initiate a talk, but not with the same interest as earlier.
I tried going through the previous days and tried to find anything that I did that might have pissed her off, as that happens a lot with me. But in this case, I just couldn’t find anything for her weird behavior.
Again, the time-glass turned, and she wished me morning on her own without any initiation from my side, whatsoever. I had just accepted her weirdness around me and had stopped talking to her. But her change to convivial attitude confused me. There she was turning her head away when our eyes met, and again she is all cheerful and friendly.
I let it flow without giving much efforts into the sudden change. As her mood was right, we took our respites together. Games and movies were also tried and tested. And it worked for while.
But as every dawn as a dusk following, her cheerful and friendly nature had irritated and uninterested nature followed up. She stopped coming for those breaks and movie sessions. She turned down any hangout plan that I or any one in the group offered. And I let it flow this time even. As still, it was unclear to me what was in her mind.
Her birthday returned and I wished her in my own style. That overwhelmed her and I had expected a mood change this time, since this was her down-time going on. And yes, her up-time did come, but lasted just two days. This totally confounded me. I couldn’t think that I understand her any longer. Her weirdness was way above my ken to understand. And that pinched me for a while, but my cold-blooded dispassionate self helped me get over it easily.
Such series of her up-time with me and her down-time with me continued after that. While I keep heed of any taking-advantage scenario, nevertheless, I followed her cycles without much regard for it.
I stopped thinking about why she behaves like that and what’s there in her mind. I stopped finding adjectives from good side and from bad side for her.
Like seasons, I see her come and go, rise and fall. Like clouds in the sky, I see her, but never try to reach to her. There was a time when I almost understood her. But now, I have stopped trying to…