Restauropedia

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I stay away from my family and usually eat everyday at some or other restaurant or food stall, as I’m too lazy to cook.

When you eat outside everyday, and there’s no one to assort you, then all you can do is observe the surroundings and people around you, while eating that not so delicious dish in front of you.

So here is synopsis of my observations for single visitors (not considering people in groups):

Noisy Muncher
Crip.. Crap.. Crunch.. Munch.. Tik.. Tak…
With all such different sounds, this guy here could be the next best background musician! He can’t gulp even a single bite of food without first making several dozens of weird and irritating sounds with his mouth.

And just to take your irritation to a higher level, they are found sitting very near to your table, or is the sound travelling faster than light here? πŸ˜•

Cute Table-for-Two
These are recently bonded in the bondage of love. So instead of chitchat, silence pleases them more. They find it better to sit quietly, looking into each others eyes. With occasional talks and several minutes of blushing and trying to touch each other stuff, these guys here are your sweet dish, which is way too much sweet to take in for long…

And for some people, they might stimulate jealousy, due to the big void of relationships in their life. πŸ™ƒ

Cool Table-for-Two
Now these are rare, but they are amazing to watch. They inspire you to find and settle with someone, instead of buzzing around the flowers. They look cool together, make fun of everything around them and can’t seem to stop talking and laughing.

They don’t care whether they are audible to the whole crowd or if they are in limelight, they’d have fun anyway! But take care, their chats may require parental guidance. 😜

The Social Net(no)work
Looking at this guy, you’d wish God to give him another hand instead of fulfilling your wishes first. He would be constantly busy trying to rush through the trammel of notifications on his phone from social apps.

While he eats his food with one hand, he uses his other hand and those non-dirty fingers from the first hand to touch his phone. He might even use his nose to touch. If he eats one crumb without using his phone, it would be a miracle! πŸ˜‰

(Un)fortunate Boyfriend
I feel pity for this guy here. His girlfriend speaks a lot, and a lot means A LOT! She keeps on blabbering about some or other thing, which has no relevance to this guy. But as she is speaking, so he has to listen – according to the General Rule Book of Relationships.

He concentrates on multi-tasking by looking at her – constantly nodding and giving mixed expressions of shock, surprise, disgust and amusement. At the same time, his mind is on the food, people sitting at other tables and what would be the score in the semi-final highlights going on at that time… πŸ˜†

(Un)fortunate Family Guy
After being exhausted of the daily trouble at work, this one works yet another shift to take his/her family out on a dinner.

There can be different types of people in this altogether, but one thing is common in all of them. They are hardly interested at all. They are either glued to mobile screens, or some other table or on the match on TV. Their family consists of their spouse trying to grab their attention and kids ruining the table like mad people, and probably another person who is not happy of anything. 🀐

The Flash Eater
While you might have just ordered a starter and were thinking about what to order next, this guy here would have finished his dessert even. Yes, you both would have started at the same time!

He eats his food as if he has a million dollar deal to attend next. His food is just a piece of energy, fat and nutrients for him. He will cut it with a strike and crunch it in just one bite, without any feelings for those tiny little pieces.😱

Mr. Foodie
This guy loves food. He has tasted every dish in the menu and knows about food in detail. He can instruct the waiter to tweak the food according to his style to enhance the flavour. If you wanna find a good place to eat, he’s your living Zomato! And if you are making your own dish, he’s your recipe book.

If it is a new dish, he would analyse each bite slowly and would try to guess all the ingredients. He would eye-gaze at the food well enough before taking his first bite.

Even a tinge of mistake in making the dish and you wish he wouldn’t notice that. Things have to be perfect for this guy. Or at least, he can make them perfect by adding extras himself.😎

The Cutlery Drummer
His spoons are his sticks, and his plates are his drums. And no matter what his dish is, he will produce a not so tolerable drumming sound while eating his food.

His spoons hit the plates so hard, you almost fear the breaking of the chinaware.πŸ™‰

The Waste Machine
Well well well… Look who’s here! They are responsible for the food problem in our country. Or at least blamed for.

They will order things way beyond their capacity. Just because it’s their first date, or a big party, or ‘cuz the boy’s paying, they will order with a big mouth. Then they will take a tiny piece of everything and say “Oh God! I’ve had too much…!” If only they would just consider that before ordering, others would have got fresh cooked food instead of food off their plates! πŸ˜’

The Dirty Toddler
He’s not actually a child, but his behaviour might just confuse you to think of that. He eats in a way that one cannot tell what way! He has no sense of using spoons, and he gives his food to his shirt more than what he eats himself.πŸ€’

The Rule Book
He’s just the opposite of Dirty Toddler. He knows his spoons correct and eats in the most decent way possible. A complete gentleman to assort on a dinner, while you might feel a little inferior about yourself if you’re not into such rules kinda thing.πŸ€“

Master Chef Thief
If this guy comes to the restaurant, he takes something back with him, other than a full tummy.

Spoons, crockery, salt-pepper holder, napkins, complimentary mukhvas or even a bunch of toothpicks – he will definitely bag something. (^_-)
(just came to realize that there’s no one-eyed-pirate emoji…!)

The Stare-crow
Do you feel like you’re been watched? Like a wild cat watches it’s prey right before it strikes then down… Yeah? Then definitely you’ve been having dinner around this fellow here.

He will stare at you every now and then. And when you look at him, he will casually look away and eat his dinner. Or may not. But his eyes will pinch you and you better stay away from that stare-crow. πŸ‘€

Mr. All-alone
He is so desolated, but still has to eat his dinner alone as he has no one to accompany him. His facial expression would imply that he’s the only sad person in the world. Usually, you’d find him drinking too.☹️

The Fictional Someone
I’m putting this up here just to please my little sister, but this fictional character is your dream.

You are eating your dinner quietly. And everything’s ordinary until your eyes meet with this character. Your heart skips a beat and either you go up to her or he comes up to your table. It seems something different than the usual. You guys have a great time together…πŸ‘€
(Remember sweety, it’s just your fantasy!)

P.s.: The references to he or she doesn’t in any way make reference to masculine or feminine genders. It just indicates a person I know… πŸ˜›

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