Roomie-pedia

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I can’t deny the fact that the time we spent staying away from our family, with our roommates / hostel mates, was one of those memorable times of our life.

We had several instances, events, cases, results, tragedies, melodrama, travesty, ridic and jocose events… It may have been several years, but still we can remember minute by minute dialogues from those occasions.

And also we remember that miscellany of diversified people whom we called our roommates.

This post lists down the varied types of roommates that we come across in our lives.

Silent Roomie
Like Silent Partner in a Partnership, this one never shows up in public. He stays in the same room as us, but no one would know it, not even the landlord. Sometimes, even the roommates won’t recognize this guy. It would be almost a treasure hunt to find him. πŸ˜›

The Blabber-blast
Remember that Duracell bunny? This person never drains off his battery too. He keeps on talking and talking and talking about all the rubbish things possible in our world and alien world together. His blabbering is so annoying that you’d even enjoy your girl best friend or girl friend talk! Remember to keep this guy away when your parent’s are visiting. πŸ˜‰

The Doomed Soul
He’s always sad, always irritated. When you ask him about his day, I can bet you won’t be motivated a bit. Give him any situation, and he can turn & twist it to look ill-fated for him and fortunate for others. Nothing can motivate that person, not even a shower (with or without someone).

The Priest
This fine type of roommate is in abundance in our ‘God-fearing’ world. His prayers are so loud that even that Saturday night DJ would feel dubious of his skills. He would never say a sentence without including God’s grace in it.

The Pirate
Beware the Pirates… Not everyone is fun and helpful like Captain Jack Sparrow! Some pirates just steal and loot and plagiarize. They use your things without your permission.

He cannot be trusted at all. From your mother’s cooked munchies, your clothes and accessories, to your secrets. Nothing is safe with this buccaneer. So, if your shampoo bottle got empty a little too quick, then you know who did that.

The Hungry Beast (Bhukkhad)
Nothing can satisfy our Mr. Bhukkhad. No matter how much he eats (his own and even from your plate), his hunger cannot be satisfied. He will be hungry all the time and your only company for late night hunger games. While he is the most jolly person of all us roommates, but if you’re cooking, God bless you. πŸ˜›

The Sleepy Fellow
The world may turn into ashes, but this fellow will not sacrifice his sleep. Not that he is not interesting. But, most of his time would be occupied in sleeping. He’ll keep several alarms in a span of half hour in the morning, intended to wake him up, but turns into a disastrous morning for you. And never ever, ever, forget the key to the house, while he’s sleeping inside. You’d probably have to sleep outside that day. πŸ˜‰

The Poor Boyfriend
Some people call him lucky, while some feel pity for him… And both are correct! He is so poor that he even doesn’t own his own time! He has to borrow it from her girlfriend. πŸ˜€

This guy here is totally chained from head to toe. Making plans for a night out, forget him. Or else, all he will do is talk to her ‘sweetie pie’! Not that he likes that… But she likes that, and he likes her and wants her to like him back! πŸ˜‰

Girlfriend Grabber
Keep all your passwords protected, as this dude here has all the charm, all the sly and knavish techniques to lure your beloved out of your life, and onto his “to-do” list. Keep her away from him, or that would be the last time she is with you…

The Dumb Dummy
Do you know who discovered a dumb man? A dumber man…! Otherwise, a wise man would not have let the epidemic spread! This one here will sometimes be the tickle bone of your room and while other times he would just make the situation a fiasco. He is not good wingman, believe me. And he is certainly not a person to ask tricky queries. But he’s the best Dummy you’ll ever find for all your evil and escape plans. πŸ˜‰

The Creepy Ghost
They have been probably evolved from cats. He walks with that sky that you’d not know the he is standing right in your room listening to your dirty talks with your girlfriend. Keep an eye out for him. And if you’re weak hearted, don’t stay alone with him at the room.

The Dirty Pig
The most hated of all are these Dirty Pigs. They will spoil almost anything they touch. If there’s a choice, choose not to share a room with them as otherwise, you’ll be lost in their scrapheap. And if you can, rent a separate bathroom for yourself.

The Movie Junkie
This guy does nothing expect watch movies all day, all night. He has no other hobbies, no other problems either. He is great person, but only to watch movies with. He will keep you entertained with his never ending collection and if you are trying to remember that character from that movie that you saw several years back, he’s your man!

The Telephone Booth
Tring Tring… Ah! Don’t worry. If a phone rings, it is got to be for our Telephone Booth guy. He is always talking over the phone. To his mother, brother, sister, friend, neighbor, colleagues, girlfriend, the newspaper guy, the laundry guy… Using any phone that he can get a hold of. Phone locks are necessity for you, if you are to stay with this guy.

The News Reporter
From what’s cooking at our neighbor’s place, to who’s available and who’s dating whom in our society, our news reporter knows it all. Nothing happens without him getting a notice of it. And keep him entertained to keep your secrets a secret. πŸ˜›

The Musician
When nothing is working out, when you feel low and tired with your life, go to this guy. He will play the guitar so well that you’ll almost fall in love with his fingers. πŸ˜›

The Scared Kid
Ah! Watching a horror movie again? Keep him with you… And you’d be amazed how the horror movie turns to a humor one. The scared kid here will go shaky legs by the most lame horror scenes! In case you’re the daring types, don’t keep his company as he will spoil the air with his loose guts in tensed situations. πŸ˜›

The Master Chef
This one is the Angel for all other roommates. If a room has one such guy, they live happily ever after. If anything can at least reach to the level of your mother’s cooked food, this is that guy. A nice friend to have and a perfect roommate for making your room a paradise.

The Lucky Bastard
Mr. Lucky is that guy that you see in the movies. He has money, talent, good looks, great body, cool girlfriend and all the luck in the universe! But he’s a bastard too. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Some bastards are just lucky! If you’re the jealous type, better look away.

The Sarcastic Gagman
He has the perfect replies every time. And he will make you laugh in every situation. He can be so sarcastic at times that you’ll have to tickle your nerves to understand his shot. And wanna prank your roomie? He’s the man with all good ideas…

The Time Machine
No this has nothing to do with time travel. This guy here works like a machine at the time. He has all his day planned up, months booked up and years fixed up..

He does everything on time. He’s never wasting any of his minute and is always occupied with something. Going for some unplanned night out, he’s not free.

The Paid Slave
Poor Rich Guy here is a paid slave in some big company. He works his *** out and is always late from office. Give him any work and he will forget it due to office work pressure. Even his holidays are not his holidays. He spends his weekend mornings shouting slangs for his bosses while getting ready for office. And his evenings pleasing the same person to let him go home.

The Pseudo Parent
Where are you going? With whom? When will you come back? That late? Why? You are wasting your time? You should see where’s your life headed! – all these questions are usually asked by our parents and elders. But here, a roommate is trying (successfully) to become our pseudo parent!

Mr. Sham
All he ever speaks out of his mouth is a sham, a lie. Not necessarily a fraudster, but a person who is habituated at telling things while adding his own flavours and versions to it. Keep your head clear and never believe a word he says. Mr. Sham here is not a good company.

The Good Guy
This guy here does nothing bad. He talks to his parents about whatever he does – bunking a lecture for a movie, late night hangouts, everything. He will not do anything that violates his virtues and ethics. A nice guy, but sometimes not a good company in your risky gambles.

The Fashion Star
90% of his cupboard would be filled with clothes and accessories. He would have matching shades, belts and wrist watched for all his weekly looks. He takes heck lot of time to get ready and is always buying fashion online.

But he’s your man if you’re not sure what to wear on your first date, party night or that important meeting with your customers.

—–

Did I miss any other type? Do tell…

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