Feedback refers to responding to something, expressing our views on the subject communicated with us.
If we ignore the formal aspect of communication, the information technology and the behavioural science, do we give real feedback in our lives?
Often I find that people change unlooked-for and then if we pore over it, we would find that the person was crestfallen due to our thickheaded act.
But then it would be no picnic to take out that thing from their mouth and then start the process of clearing the misunderstanding…
Instead, we woud just start ignoring the person. We would avoid the topic till the end of the world. We would never tell the person that which of his act wounded us, and why…
Nevertheless, we would expect the person to apologise! We would expect him to understand his mistake and put up some action to solve the mess! But how! How is he supposed to know that something out of his acts has disturbed you?
Wouldn’t it be worthier, if not easy-peasy, if we would’ve shared our views, would’ve expressed our feelings in a beeline, at the time the misunderstanding was born? Isn’t it better to treat the wound when it is still fresh?
But no… We have all sorts of reasons to avoid giving real feedback:
“It would hurt him.”
“It would look rude.”
“I don’t want it to worse off.”
“Why should I tell him! He must know what he did!”
“He’s a jerk. He never thinks before speaking!”
“He’s a bad guy. Why would I waste my time explaining the problem to that kinda guy!”
From not hurting him, we move step-by-step towards making a prejudicial conclusion; a judgement based on our own reasoning, rather than on the real facts and the person’s real intention.
And then the misunderstanding never wears off…
We never give the person a chance to explain himself! Hell, we don’t even give him chance to know what really happened! We just shut him down, just shove him off…
So people start giving feedbacks.. Tell them what you feel, tell them that that was rude, blunt or unacceptable. Tell them you hate it. Tell them what you understood about what their action meant…
Be it friendship or be it relationship, a feedback at the right time would avoid a long, disheartening, annoying series of misunderstandings.
True, it would lead to an argument, it would lead to a fight… But a few days fight, which clears the misunderstanding and gives both the parties an opportunity to share their views with eachother, is better than the everlasting grudge that develops from the initial fallacy.
Food is best served on a plate clean, things are best written on slate clean…
P.s.: Feedback (comments) recommended 😉
P.s.2: Ignore, meow… 😛