When I fight with her…

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There are very few fortunate people in this world who get to see the real colour of friendship. The pure colour of friendship that leaves a permanent mark on your heart…

I couldn’t believe it, but I was one among them. But as it is said, fortunate is not the one who gets something incredible, but the one who can maintain it forever! And that is where I messed it up…

We two grew best friends unexpectedly… It was not planned or never even imagined, as the two of us were totally different from each-other. But it happened… one day we were just discussing about some random issue of the world, and don’t know where from, but she said “…we are best friends…” And I felt so so so much happy that day…

We usually called it our happy hours, the time when the normal people do to sleep, we started to talk… God knows how or on what topic, but one after other, we continued talking. We liked to share new things with each other, something that we came across that day or that time and feel like the other one will like it (sometimes even without thinking all that..)

But there were some topics that used to split us into two opposite worlds! We could never actually come on a conclusion on that issue, she was right on her side and I was on my side. Knowing all this, still we used to argue and fight…

That fight always started with me and ended on her telling that “let’s talk something else” (yes, you can definitely call me a jerk!) But I get so engrossed in our talks that I never know how or discussion shaped or leads us..!

One such day, our arguments took form of a devastating war where she hurt my feelings and I hurt her feelings…

There were tears in my eyes, but they never flowed out. It burned me continuously inside… We were best friends and will be, but that fight might have changed things between us…

I spent my whole night staring at her picture and consoling my poor heart and burning brain… It wasn’t easy to talk to her after that. Even a small discussion would scare me that I might hurt her again! I stop myself from being me, I stop myself from speaking my heart out, because owing to the differences between us, I might start yet another fight with her and again, make things so complicated…

I wonder how she might be feeling right now… Would she be angry at me? Or would she be frustrated? She might even be burning just like me inside, trying to spend her time in the heartbreak of our fights… Or she might be changing her feelings for me, from good to bad, from her best friend to just a best friend…

Various thoughts haunted me. Her last words that she said in her peculiar style pinched my heart… I felt so bad at that and wanted to talk to her, to say her how I was feeling.. Explain her that my intentions were never to hurt her! I just discussed the topic with you like we do in any discussion! That I loved my best friend and wanted her to stay like that forever in my life! To say her that I was not aware that my words would hurt her so bad! That things between us were different, so I usually made such blunders… That she should forget our fights and remember our high times of happiness, craziness and weirdness!! That we should remember that no matter what happens, we are best friends after all…!!

But all I could say to her was Good Night… It took me whole night to erase all such thoughts in my mind and concentrate on sleeping, which I could only when the sun was up again…

P.S.: I tried to put feelings of a broken heart to words… With no such experience, I hope you will excuse me… 😛

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